What Boobs Are For-- Part I

I'm going to do a 2-part rant about breastfeeding. I'm doing it in 2 parts to (hopefully) keep it all readable lengths. Because I have a lot to say (as usual). Also, because I have 2 separate ideas I would like to discuss.

The first point I'd like to talk about is extended breastfeeding. It's been on my mind a lot lately since I have an 18 month old who still nurses a number of times a day. I'll start by telling you about an experience I had Saturday. I'm still not sure what to do about it. Maybe you can help me decide.

I was in desperate need of new nursing bras since the ones I was currently using were the same bras I bought when Lady was born and I've been using them consistently since then. They were also about 3 sizes too big and it was getting harder to hide the wrinkles under my shirts. After attempting to find some at JCPenney (they only had about 4 varieties and the ladies there weren't helpful AT ALL), Macy's and Dillard's (which don't even carry nursing bras-- which is discrimination, if you ask me), I was at a loss. Luckily my friend came over to do my hair a couple of weeks ago and told me about a local little shop that specializes in maternity/nursing wear. I was so happy! So I went there Saturday and fell in love as soon as I walked into the store. It was FULL of bras! I knew I'd be able to find something there. And even better than the amount of bras was the service I received from the sweet, little lady who was working there that day. We were the only 2 in the store and she helped me figure out the right size and helped me adjust each bra just right so I could really see/feel the differences. It was the best bra-shopping experience of my life!

Except for one detail.

When I first told the lady (we'll call her Lorraine) that I needed a nursing bra, she asked me how old my baby was. I told her, "18 months." She took a longer-than-necessary pause and then the conversation went like this:

Lorraine: "Oh." As if she didn't know what to do with that information. She then asked, "How long do you nurse your babies?"

Me: "I don't really have a set time limit. I'd like to continue however long my baby would like to."

Lorraine: "How long is the longest you've nursed?"

Me: "This is actually about when my last baby quit because I was pregnant with current-baby and my milk dried up and she didn't like that. But I'm not pregnant now and current-baby is still going strong!"

Lorraine: "Oh. Well, I had a friend whose daughter was old enough to actually ask for "chi chi." I just think that's too old. But that's just my opinion, of course."

Me (surprised at the direction this conversation is taking, and not quite sure how to handle it): "Well, it's just so good for them. And it doesn't stop being good for them just because they can ask for it."

Lorraine: "True."

Me: "It's certainly better than cow's milk."

(Which, if you think about it, is also breast milk, just from a bovine instead of a human. I'd much rather my baby be getting breastmilk from her own species, MEANT for her own species.)

Lorraine: "Hmm. Well, I know that in 3rd world countries, where they don't have a lot of food, they nurse their children until they're MUCH older than they do here. I guess it's just not kosher here."

Me: "Yeah, I envy those societies. They know what they're doing. That's what's natural."

Lorraine: "So, what do you think about that bra? It's a nice fit, isn't it?"

Thus ends the awkward conversation.

This is not the first time I have been questioned about my nursing practices, but it is the most lengthy questioning I've experienced. I was caught off-guard because I'd (wrongly) assumed that a woman who worked in a pro-breastfeeding job would actually have a little more knowledge than the average person who just takes the "norms" of society and aligns their thinking accordingly.

I am ashamed to admit, I actually used to think the same way as her. I might've even uttered similar words about not nursing "after they can ask for it".........before I became a mother.

The thing is, when you're in the middle of motherhood, nursing is just something you do everyday (and night). And there wasn't ever a time when I looked at my baby and thought, "Now you're too old to nurse." Each day, they were just one day older than yesterday. And what sense does that argument make anyway? Just because a child can ask for something, we shouldn't give it to them? What if they were asking for a bottle, or a glass of water? And some babies as small as 6 months old can sign for milk. Does that mean they should be cut off? It's just a silly, silly nonsense reason for weaning a child.

Some of my biggest regrets as a mother are the ending of my nursing relationships with each of my 3 oldest children. With AJ, I bottlefed along with breastfeeding because I was too scared to nurse in public, and also because I was in school still and wanted the reassurance that somebody else could feed my child. None of my children since her have ever had a bottle. We don't even own any now. AJ was 9 months old when she started getting all 4 of her top (middle) teeth at the same time. The bottle was easier for her, so she started refusing to nurse. NOW I understand that this was just a nursing strike and I could've pushed through it and continued our nursing relationship. I didn't know that back then, and I had no support to continue nursing. My mother had nursed each of her children for 6 months and thought that was plenty of time. (And in her defense, it was a LOT more time than most women were nursing in that era.)

With Roo, it was such a struggle to nurse him from the beginning. I saw a lactation consultant for 4 MONTHS! My nipples bled for the first 2 months because we could just not get his latch right. So I was not about to give up soon after. My goal was a year, and I made it there. At that point, Roo fell madly in love with food. Real food. And he lost interest in nursing. Again, I could've pushed through and kept the relationship going if I'd have realized it was so good and important. But I didn't.

With Tink, I mistakenly thought that I had to quit nursing to get pregnant again, even though my period had long since returned. So I weaned her at 15 months. She wasn't ready to quit. This is really one of my biggest regrets as a mother. Because it wasn't in any way Tink's choice. It was mine. I still mourn the loss of our nursing relationship.

Finally with Lady I knew better. I got pregnant while nursing, and about halfway through the pregnancy, my milk dried up. I would've kept going. I was actually looking forward to tandem-nursing. But Lady would have nothing to do with it. Our nursing relationship ended when she was 18 months old.

Recently, I've had a few people ask me how long I plan to nurse June. My answer is, "As long as it is beneficial for both of us." She still loves it and I still love it. Just yesterday she was being restless in Sacrament meeting and I whispered in her ear, asking her if she was excited for Nursery. Well, all she heard was "nurse" and got a huge smile on her face and immediately flopped herself back in my arms, ready to go. I laughed out loud, and then I nursed her. :)

Breastfeeding a toddler is very different than breastfeeding an infant. It has its pros and cons, just like anything else. But, in my opinion, the pros far outweigh the cons. I love the cuddle time. I love talking to her and knowing she understands what I'm saying. I love singing to her and seeing her smile while still trying to hold on to her latch. I love having something at my disposal that can immediately calm an agitated, sad, hurt, or frustrated toddler.

Did you know that breastmilk changes as the baby grows up? Toddler milk is quite different than infant milk. It has MUCH more fat in it. You know how doctors tell you children are supposed to drink whole cow's milk after they're a year old because of the high fat content? Well, guess what! Toddler breastmilk does the SAME THING, only it's actually made for the species that's drinking it.

So back to my experience with Lorraine. I'm unsure what to do about it, if anything. Part of me wants to write a letter, expressing my concern about the lack of support some new mothers might feel when talking to someone with these biases. Part of me wants to call her and talk to her over the phone. And part of me just wants to let it go, knowing I can't save the world. The trouble is, it's misinformation and opinions, based on cultural norms rather than biological/natural norms, that perpetuate the problem. As long as people who think like her keep walking around speaking their opinion, it's going to continue to be hard for new mothers to see past that and have the confidence to keep nursing their children. Ugh.

I feel like women today don't have the support they need to breastfeed in the first place, let alone breastfeed beyond a year. I was reading about another country, recently, (I believe it was the Netherlands, but I'm not certain and I can't find the link now) where they have a postpartum nurse/doula that comes to live with the mother for 2 weeks after birth (the Netherlands also have one of the highest rates of homebirth). She acts as a lactation consultant, and takes care of the new mother's every need. Why, oh why, don't we have anything like that here? There are some places where you can see a lactation consultant for free, but they are rare. And most new moms aren't particularly excited about leaving their house over and over to seek help. They have lactation consultants in the hospital, but in my experience, some are better than others. And there's the problem of them only seeing you once or twice during your stay. For me, I felt like I needed someone with me at each nursing session, to help me gain confidence and to just be there for moral support. I think things would've gone much smoother had I had that kind of support. And I think the number of breastfeeding women would increase if there was just some type of support system in place for new mothers. What is currently available is sadly lacking.

So leave me a comment and tell me what you think I should do in regards to Lorraine. I can't make up my mind.

And for anyone who'd like to read more about extended breastfeeding, there are lots of support groups, including La Leche League. Here are a few more good blog posts I've found:

http://compulsivewriter.com/?p=162

http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/05/the-pros-and-cons-of-breastfeeding-a-toddler/

(This one has some more links at the end.)

http://www.accidentalpharmacist.com/2010/12/extending-breastfeeding-beyond-year.html

(This one has a lot of good links at the end as well.)

http://healthland.time.com/2010/12/20/want-smarter-kids-consider-breastfeeding/?xid=rss-topstories&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+time/topstories+(TIME:+Top+Stories)

And just for fun, here's a video that went around during National Breastfeeding Week, and is what my title references.

What Am I Doing For My Birthday? ramble

My sweet visiting teacher dropped a little gift and card by my house yesterday and asked me what I had planned for my birthday. I shared my plans with her and she looked at me like I was crazy. Ha! Apparently Brent and I don't put enough emphasis on birthdays. They're usually just an ordinary day and then we celebrate later that weekend with a night out on the town. Fancy, aren't we?

So what am I doing today?

Well, so far this morning, I've managed to steer clear of the shower which I desperately need. I was supposed to get up and exercise with Brent this morning, but the sweet man let me off the hook when June woke up an hour before we were supposed to get up, destroying every ounce of motivation that I tried to muster. I needed that last hour, dang it!

I ruined breakfast in bed when I got up too early, having been woken again by Lady's screaming. Brent makes me breakfast every morning, that awesome man! A yummy green smoothie. This morning, I got the extra special treat of raw chocolate in my smoothie! Yum! I tried to talk him into staying home since he looked extra HAWT in his button-up shirt and sexy-butt jeans. He used the excuse of having lots of meetings today, but I'm secretly wondering if it was my lack of shower and greaseball hair. Hmm. Did you know he shaved his goatee a couple of weeks ago? He did. And immediately got multiple comments about how young he looked and what a baby face he has. Yep. Not helping my insecurities, here, hon!

I managed to get the kitchen cleaned up while the 3 middle children were downstairs playing in the bounce house. Can I tell you how awesome that thing is during winter to get extra energy out? Love it! AJ took over making June look pretty since Mommy had obviously dropped the ball this morning. She often takes over in this area. Now her hair's all done w/a pink flower and everything. Then AJ took her out in the backyard to watch Luke (cat) torture and then behead a mouse. June's response? "Whoa!" That's her new favorite word. Have I told you how cute she is lately? I love toddlerhood for so many reasons. I love to watch her run with her top half getting ahead of her bottom half. She pulls everything out of cupboards and drawers and rearranges them. Speaking of which, if anyone can think of a good hiding place for a can opener, pass it on to me please. She loves to "help" unload the dishwasher and write me love letters on post-it notes.

It's now 10:30 and I really need to get going for the day. Plans for the rest of the day, you ask?

-Chores (today it's bathrooms (AJ, Roo, and me) and dusting (Tink and Lady and June))

-School (AJ claims to be done with hers already.....hmmm)

-Carving pumpkins (Yes, I know we're terribly behind on this. I took the kids grocery shopping yesterday and upon seeing the piles of pumpkins, they all exclaimed, "Pumpkins, Mom! Can we get some?" I tried to avoid the subject by reminding them how busy we've been this year and couldn't we just wait until next year? They responded by reminding me that we didn't carve pumpkins last year. Insert awful mommy-guilt here. So we bought 5 ginormous pumpkins at Harmon's yesterday and, by-dang-it, they need to be carved! So that's in the works for this afternoon sometime.)

-Leftover dinner from last night

-Frantically getting the kids in their costumes and make-up.

-Trunk-or-Treat tonight w/the ward. AJ's in charge of one of the games along with some other Achievement Days girls. There will be scones, hot chocolate, tractor rides, and plenty of candy for all. (I'm quite pleased with myself this year. Instead of candy, we're passing out junky toys! (spider rings, pencils, plastic bracelets, rubber skeletons, etc.))

-Come home, showers for those w/make-up, pajamas, stories, scriptures, prayers, and bed. Ahhh. I love bedtime.

-Yoga w/Brent. Can't wait for this part. I always feel GREAT after yoga!

-Check email, FB, etc. Then prayers, scriptures, bed for me and Brent.

Happy Birthday to me!

This weekend, my sister will be enjoying a night away w/her hubby for her birthday in 9 days (we're only one year apart for 9 days! Woohoo!). I'm a little jealous. Maybe someday I will get to do that again with Brent. Before that happens we have to convince June that she CAN, in fact, go to bed without some bewb first. Hmm.

This weekend, Brent and I will be celebrating my birthday by going out to eat at a restaurant of my choice (have no idea yet which one), then coming home, putting kids to bed, and then maybe watching a movie. 'Cause we're fancy like that. And of course, this all hinges on whether or not we can get a sitter. Fun, fun!

Aren't you jealous of my life? I wouldn't trade it for anything!!!

Irreplaceable

As we, once again, mark the anniversary of arguably the most important day of my life (even though I wasn't even close to being conceived yet), I'd like to write another tribute post to my husband. Because really, it can't be said too many times how much I love this man and how grateful I am for him.

Dear Brent,

For your 34th birthday, I'd like to make mention of all the often-overlooked, under-appreciated little things you do that make my life better.

1. Thank you for always being the one to close the windows, lock the doors, and turn off all the lights before bed. It puts my mind at ease since I know you check them at least 3 times each. Besides, I'm afraid of the dark.

2. Thank you for being the sole motivator when it comes to exercise. Without you, my butt would be much bigger.

3. Thank you for stealing the sheets, but always leaving me the blankets.

4. And along those lines, thank you for being my personal space heater in bed.

5. And along a not-the-same,-but-similar line, thank you for not laughing when I come to bed in just g's and socks. I really hate pajamas, but DANG my feet get cold.

6. Thank you for being the same as me and the opposite of me in all the right ways. It makes the whole "work as a team" thing go so smoothly.

7. Thank you for being the type of husband whose wife has never had to have a "honey-do" list.

8. Thank you for always watching the gas tanks on our vehicles since I seem to be blind to them.

9. Thank you for always restocking the t.p. and tissues in every bathroom.

10. Thank you for taking care of all the finances (even though I know I need to get better at paying attention to these things).

11. Thank you for listening to me in bed even when all you want to do is roll over and go to sleep.

12. Thank you for asking about my day and validating the work I do.

13. Thank you for encouraging me on the bad days and rejoicing with me on the good days.

14. Thank you for making me your best friend and always putting me and the kids first on your list of priorities.

15. Thank you for showing our son the way a woman should be treated and for showing our daughters how they need to demand to be treated by any future beaus.

16. Thank you for insisting on (almost) weekly date nights even though they are getting more and more expensive with each kid.

17. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on, my hand to hold, and my bear hug when I need them the most.

18. Thank you for not writing me off with each of my "new" ideas.

19. Thank you for cleaning our white cast-iron sinks that don't like to stay white very long.

20. Thank you for taking care of our lawn. I know I mowed for you once this summer, and while I didn't hate it, it's definitely a job I'm glad you do 99.9% of the time. :)

21. Thank you for being the kind of man who, instead of thinking, "I can't." thinks "I need to learn how to...."

22. Thank you for keeping your goatee for family pictures even though you wanted to shave it. Of course I love your face either way, but I have many insecurities, one of which is this:

I really like that you look older than me when you have a goatee. I'm not secure enough to have you walking around looking like a newly-returned missionary whilst I tote my 5 kids and gray hairs around, letting everybody assume that I'm in my mid-40's and that it was *I* who robbed the cradle.

Proof:

(This was almost 2 years ago....the last time you didn't have facial hair.)

23. Thank you for always replacing my toothbrush in the battery-charger when I forget.

24. Thank you for always putting the lid down.

25. Thank you for always motivating me with all of our "projects." Most of them would never get done if it weren't for you.

26. Thank you for being the kind of dad worthy of having 4 out of 5 "daddy's girls/boys." (And probably the only reason it's not 5 out of 5 is because the 5th one is still attached to my chest.)

27. Thank you for always striving to be better and for encouraging me to do the same.

28. Thank you for living worthy to hold and use the priesthood.

29. Thank you for being the bread-maker in the family. (And the bread-winner as well.)

30. Thank you for being the kind of dad that takes our kids for rides in a wagon hooked onto the back of a riding lawn mower when I'm not around to freak out and make you stop.

31. Thank you for always fixing everything that needs to be fixed and making it better than brand new.

32. Thank you for kissing owies, giving loves, listening to endless Star Wars Lego stories, watching our girls dance, laughing at the way Lady says "cumber-you" instead of cucumber, reading bedtime stories, tucking-in and giving endless drinks at bedtime, and changing cloth diapers.

33. Thank you for your voluptuous lips.

34. And thank you for loving me through thick and thin.

I love you, Babe! Can't wait to see you tonight for our own private birthday party! ;)

Talents

I have come to the realization in the last few years that there are many talents that I was not gifted from Heaven. I used to feel bad about it. Now I don't. I realize that I have many talents that fit me perfectly. And I feel blessed to be able to enjoy the talents of other women without feeling (too much) jealousy. On that note, I present to you an incredibly talented and creative mother.

Here is her beautiful blog with her beautiful daughter and her beautiful daydreams. :)

Enjoy.

Yellowstone, Pollyanna-style

Remember the Glad Game?

We're going to play the Glad Game today. For everything about our trip that was sad, there was always something to be glad about. And sometimes there were some great things to be glad about without any sadness attached to them.

Ready to play?

We decided to split-up the trip up there. So we stopped at Cheryl's parents' house in Blackfoot, ID on Wednesday night to spend the night. We got there later than planned. As we were pulling up to their house at 11pm.....

Sad: June started crying and then puked all over herself and her carseat and the van seat.

Glad: It was great that we were pulling up to a house (with a washing machine) instead of our campsite. Everything was ready to go by morning.

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Sad: When we were about 15 minutes outside of our campsite in Yellowstone, June puked again.

Glad: This time there wasn't as much and we were able to clean it up quickly with wipes. Also, June was acting totally fine between these incidents and so we chalked it up to car-sickness. Also, we saw a moose on the way in, but didn't get any pics.

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Sad: The realization that it was NOT, in fact, car-sickness came when we were awakened by June puking in bed at 3am the next morning.

Glad: She was still acting totally fine before and after the puking, so at least we weren't dealing with a crabby baby on top of puke. And this was the last bout of puke from June.

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Glad: Some deer strolled into camp as we were getting things set up the first day.

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Glad: We had yummy wraps and then went for a walk by the lake after dinner. The scenery was breath-taking.

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The second day we drove to the mud volcanoes.

Sad: I didn't get to see them since June and Lady were asleep in the van. I stayed with them while everyone else went on a short hike to check them out.

Glad: Brent got some great pics for me to "experience."

The sulfur smell was extremely strong there. :)

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Glad: On the way to the mud volcanoes, we ran into a herd of bison (and yes, they are called bison. I had to look it up since other tourists kept calling them buffalo. I was sure they were bison.....and I was right. ;) ). We actually saw a number of herds while up there. Apparently it's quite rare to see that many.

This one walked across the road behind us as we were leaving.

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Sad: It started to rain.

Glad: Luckily it wasn't raining super hard, so we went and saw a beautiful waterfall from a distance. Then we drove around and made the short but steep hike down to the top of it. It started raining much harder right as we were coming back up to the top.

From a distance:

From the top:
This was AJ taking a pic of us trying to recreate the pic in the header of this blog.

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Sad: Since it was raining, we couldn't go do the other hikes we had planned.

Glad: Luckily there were some indoor places we could go hang out for a while. So we went to the museum and watched a movie about Yellowstone.

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Sad: It was still raining hard once we were done at the museum. So we had a dilemma about what to do for dinner. Do we go back to camp and make dinner in the rain? And what do we do with the kids during that time? Or do we go spend a fortune at a restaurant in Yellowstone and also wait in a huge line because everybody else had the same idea?

Glad: So glad we had awesome husbands who made dinner in the rain (they were mostly covered by the awning on our trailer and a canopy that Brandon and Cheryl brought). Also so glad we had the trailer for the kids to hang out in and watch a movie until bedtime. B & C's kids watched a movie in their van and then braved the cold for a bit outside when the rain let up a little before bed. (My kids were already in their jammies and were quite upset with me that I wouldn't let them out to play with their friends.)

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Sad: After the day of rain and little sleep for 2 nights and a pukey baby, I was almost ready to throw in the towel.

Glad: Brent managed to talk me out of that nonsense and the 3rd day was absolutely beautiful. Sunny skies most of the day and the temperature was much more bearable.

Glad: We saw an elk on the way to Old Faithful. While waiting for more puke from Old Faithful, we went in the gift shop and bought souvenirs. Roo got his first pocket knife, lucky kid.

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Glad: After lunch we went to a beachy spot by the lake and decided to just "dip our toes."

You can guess how long that lasted. It's like that book, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie".....only it's "If you give my kids some water, they're going to get wet."

Dipping our toes.
Going a little deeper.
Splashing in the "waves."

Deeper still.
I didn't get a picture of it, but AJ ended up going all the way under. She's a fish.
June got her first taste of black sand.....literally.
And Lady made her first sandcastle.

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Sad: It took us longer to get packed up than we thought it would, so we didn't leave camp until 11am.

Glad: But the timing worked out perfectly for us to see a bear on our way out. We were supposed to stay at least 100 yds away, but we got a bit closer than that. I'd say more like 50. It made Brandon quite nervous, but I was banking on the fact that there were other people much closer than us and so they'd be the first targets. :p

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Sad:
- The kids were......"restless" (read: horrible) on the way home. I'm showing a picture of June sleeping as proof that there was at least one moment where she wasn't crying.


- Somewhere in Star Valley, WY Roo said from the backseat, "Mom?" And I turned to see him holding his fingers to his mouth. I yelled at Brent to pull over, to which he responded, "Are you sure? Is he really going to throw up?" To which I yelled louder, "PULL OVER!" We got him out just in the nick of time. I was probably a little too forceful when grabbing his shirt and yanking him out of the van, but luckily he's very forgiving and was grateful (along with Brent and me) that most of the puke ended up on the side of the highway.

- Upon returning home at 9:40pm , all 5 kids had fallen asleep about 10 minutes prior. After helping Lady out of the van, she looks at me and happily says, "Momma, I not frow up!" And promptly threw up on the driveway.

Glad: Uh.....we were glad to be home and glad that more puke didn't end up in the van.

Oh, and one more thing to be glad about......
After discussing with Brent WHY our kids had been so "restless" on the way home, we realized it was most likely because we'd brought a bunch of sugary snacks in the car thinking it would be a special treat for them since they don't get them often. In hindsight, that was a very stupid thing to do. Lesson learned.
On another "glad" note, about halfway through the trip, the kids were telling me they were hungry, so I offered them more "treats." They all responded that they wanted "real" food, so we stopped and got in the trailer and retrieved "real" food for them: apples, oranges, bananas, and whole wheat bread and bagels. Turns out my kids are more sensible than me.

Summertime

I have an upcoming post in my head. And I have many pictures on my camera. The issue is getting it here on the computer. See, I have no time. How is that possible, I ask you?! I looked forward to the summertime so that I would have FREE TIME! And yet it has escaped me. The time I thought would be plentiful without school lessons every day has been taken up by......other things......other people......other commitments. (I should note that I have enjoyed all of these "others" immensely.)

I am so glad that August is here. July was beautiful. I had some of the greatest times and made some of the best memories during July. But I didn't ever have a minute to sit and catch my breath, it seems. Between 3 family reunions, 2 families visiting us, 1 work party at our house (the day after returning from a reunion), and getting some more fun boxes checked off our "home improvement" list, this has been one busy month. I loved nearly every minute of it, but it was definitely tiring.

So now we're going on vacation. And as all you mothers out there know, "vacation" doesn't really mean "vacation" when you're packing your whole family up for a camping trip. But after this past month, I think it might just actually somewhat resemble a vacation for me.

Yellowstone, here we come!

Hopefully I'll have some great pics of bears and bison for you when we get back.

Hopefully they will look nothing like this.

And hopefully I can get around to posting at least a few pics from this last month before we leave.

Going Green

UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM!!!


I'm going to do my best to keep this post friendly, informative, and devoid of politics for all of my readers that don't like the controversy that I keep getting into. :)

Over the last few years, I've tried to lessen the amount of garbage we go through, the chemicals that come in contact with my children and in my house, and basically just reduce our carbon footprint. Some of this I've done because it's best for the environment, some of it because it's just plain cheaper, and some of it I've done because I believe it's what's best for the health of my family.

Here are some of the things we do:

Laundry

- I switched to a more natural detergent without brighteners, enzymes, yucky chemicals, and perfumes. I originally got it for my cloth diapers because regular detergents aren't good for them. But now I use it for everything. I got it in bulk (4 boxes) on Amazon.com about 2 years ago for $50 and we're still working on our 2nd box. Country Save is what I use, but I've heard good things about Charlie's and Allen's Naturally, also. If you make the switch and feel like you need a softener, try vinegar in the rinse cycle.

- We have a front-load energy-efficient washer, which is one of the reasons we don't go through much detergent.

- I hang dry my cloth diapers most of the time. I use the dryer for them a little more often in the winter since they take a lot longer to dry then. But in the summer time, it's a breeze (literally) to hang them up outside. They dry so fast that way! Brent and I have talked about putting up a clothesline outside for our clothes too. Maybe that will happen this summer!

- I no longer use fabric softener or dryer sheets. Like I said above, instead of fabric softener, try a bit of vinegar. And I use dryer balls instead of chemical-filled dryer sheets. This is also good for cloth diapers if I do put them in the dryer since residue is left on the dryer from the dryer sheets that make the cloth diapers repel water (which obviously isn't what you want when it comes to cloth diapers).

Personal Hygiene

- First we got rid of antibacterial soaps in our house. There are numerous articles showing that there really aren't benefits to using antibacterial soaps in a home setting. Hospital settings, maybe beneficial. But their overuse is causing all sorts of problems and has the potential of causing many more, some foreseeable, some not.

- I got a bunch of the "foaming" soap dispensers since they save on the amount of soap used. And I make my own mixture to go in them. I bought a big refill container of regular handsoap (gel, non-antibacterial) and I mix a 2:1 ratio of water to soap in the foaming dispensers. Makes one of those refill containers last a LONG time! I think sometimes people forget that the most important aspect to hand washing is vigorous, prolonged (20-30 seconds) scrubbing. The soap is just there to aid in getting the dirt off easier, but the scrubbing is what gets the germs off.

- Shampoo and Conditioner:
This is one I've been playing around with for a while. I've always had greasy hair and had to shampoo everyday. I often wondered how pioneer women went a week or more at a time without washing their hair. I figured I would've just been the ugly, greasy lady nobody would want to date. :) But then I started looking into it more and found out about people going shampoo-less. Meaning they never washed their hair. How is that possible? So I started digging deeper. And I found that there are varying degrees of it and different things work for different people and different hair types. I've known for a while that using shampoo only worsens the amount of grease in my hair because it strips all of the natural oils each day, but I didn't know what to do about it.

Over the last couple of years I have come to learn that baking soda is one of God's gifts to us. It has SOOOO many uses. One of them is being an alternative to shampoo. Vinegar is another awesome thing. And apple cider vinegar works great as an alternative to conditioner. Who knew?

Here are a couple of great sites about it:
http://www.naturemoms.com/no-shampoo-alternative.html
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Go-No-Poo/
http://ezinearticles.com/?No-Shampoo---How-to-Go-No-Poo-Successfully&id=3803613
http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/curl-products/all-about-the-no-poo-routine-2

I haven't gone to strictly baking soda and ACV yet, but that's my goal....and who knows? Maybe if I keep going, I can be like the pioneer women and wash my hair with just water once a week or so. Wouldn't that be amazing? At the moment, I'm using a shampoo and conditioner that don't have as many of the harsh, abrasive, toxic, stripping chemicals in them. It's the Tresemme Naturals line. I've heard that the Suave Naturals line is also pretty good at leaving the harsher chemicals out (plus it's super cheap).

I haven't switched out my soap yet. Waiting to finish out the box we got from Costco. But again, really all that's needed to get clean is warm water and scrubbing. And soap is SOOO drying for the skin. So the only places I use soap now is in my armpits and "down there." The rest of my body gets clean just by being in the water and any shampoo running down. :)

For the kids, I used to use shampoo and conditioner on them every single time they took a bath (2-4 times a week, depending on the season). I no longer do. I let their natural oils keep their hair and scalp healthy. For AJ, I use the same shampoo and conditioner as I use, but we only use a little bit. Just a squeeze about the size of a dime of shampoo for the top of her head. I don't shampoo the ends....too drying. Then a squeeze about the size of a quarter of conditioner for the ends of her hair only. (I wash my hair this same way.) For Roo, he has such little hair now that he uses just a small amount of shampoo. For the little girls, I don't use shampoo at all. But I use a bit of conditioner on the ends just to make it easier to comb out. And for soap, we only have them soap up in their armpits and the parts under their underwear. :) (That is, unless Lady's gotten into the markers again and then we'll use it wherever she's created art on herself.)

Here is a great website that has all of the ingredient info for so many of the products we buy. It rates them on a scale of 0-10, with 0 being the least toxic and 10 being the most. It also breaks it down so that you know which ingredients are the toxic culprits. (The new Tresemme Naturals line isn't on there yet, but a lot of the Suave Naturals are.) I've used this site now a number of times in looking for deodorant, shampoo/conditioner, lotion, make-up, sunscreen, etc. It's awesome! Right now I'm researching toothpastes to make a switch in that department too.

- Speaking of deodorant, I've made the switch to a less toxic deodorant. The aluminum in regular antiperspirants is really not good for us and is absorbed into our skin when we apply it. I switched to Tom's of Maine. It's just a deodorant (not antiperspirant), but I've found that it doesn't last all day. So if I want to still smell good for Brent when he comes home from work, I need to apply it twice during the day. I've just ordered Ban invisible solid online (it's on its way to us now!) for both Brent and myself. It got good reviews on Amazon, so I'm hoping it works a bit better for me. I'll have to let you know once we get it. :)

- Now we'll be getting into the "strictly feminine" aspects of personal hygiene. :)

A few years ago, I heard about an alternative to pads and tampons. After years of using tampons I made the switch and I haven't looked back since. I never really was comfortable with the thought of tampons being inside of me in such a "personal" area for a week out of every month, but the thought of using pads instead was just too......icky. (Plus they still have awful chemicals as well.) I hated the 6 weeks postpartum when I HAD to wear pads......Babies are the ones who usually get diaper rash, but it was Mama that did when it came to me and pads. So uncomfortable!

So let me introduce you to my new best friend...... the Diva Cup. Pure bliss. There's a bit of a learning curve (no worse than learning to use tampons), and it comes with a "stem" at the bottom that I snipped off for comfort's sake, but once you get it down it's AWESOME! No trying to remember to keep tampons everywhere under the sun (purse, glove compartment, diaper bag, every drawer in every bathroom, etc.). No more chemicals in your "personal space" all week. No more diaper rash from yucky pads. It's a beautiful thing.

And for those of you who still prefer pads, I have an alternative as well......Mama Cloth. Now most of you might react with "ICK!" But let me tell you, either way you're dealing with an "ick" factor. This "time of the month" that we deal with is just icky any way you look at it. So there's a choice to be made whether we deal with the "ick" factor of nasty chemicals making their way into our most private of areas or whether we deal with the "ick" factor of touching something somewhat unpleasant for a few moments, but we're then able to wash it right off of our hands. I have a friend that I adore who once said, "There's not anything that the human body can produce that CAN'T be washed off." So true. And for those of you who enjoy supporting work-at-home-moms, you're probably familiar with Etsy. It's my new favorite place to shop. There are plenty of women there who can make the perfect Mama Cloth for you! My friends who use Mama Cloth just keep a small trash can (with a lid) in their bathroom just for these and a small wetbag in their purse for when they're out and about. Then they toss them in the washer and wash on hot and they're good to go.

These things may seem expensive up-front (kind of like cloth diapers), but they are SO MUCH CHEAPER in the long run. You can find Diva Cups on sale for between $15-$20. That's probably about 1-2 months worth of tampons for me. And the Diva Cup will last so much longer! Same with the Mama Cloth. A bigger expense in the beginning, but it won't take too many months to pay them off! And if you happen to sew, then it can be even cheaper! Just make your own! There are plenty of sites with tutorials and patterns.

- Along the same lines as Mama Cloth is, of course, cloth diapers. I know lots of women who just toss their Mama Cloth in with their diapers at the end of the day. Cloth diapering has been one of my favorite switches that we've made. The cloth wipes we use (you know, those super-cheap baby washcloths you can buy like 12 for $3 at Walmart) really come in handy too. But I already did a whole post about that, so I won't repeat myself here.

-I feel like I should also mention one thing for those of you who may want to take this type of thing and run with it. It's not something that we've done at our house, but I'll never say never. It is reusable toilet paper. Enough said.

Cleaning Products

A couple of years ago when I started wanting the kids to help with the cleaning more, I realized I really didn't like the idea of them spraying and coming in contact with all of the chemicals in the cleaners I'd always used. So I, again, researched alternatives. There are some good options you can buy at the store. But I found the best alternative for us.

- Baking soda and vinegar. My kids could eat the cleaner and they'd be fine! (Not that they'd want to....yuck!)

We use these 2 things for pretty much all of our cleaning now. (My friend, Jen, did a similar post today about cleaning supplies. She has some great ideas as well and I love all of her reusable stuff. But I wanted to correct one thing..... Vinegar IS a disinfectant because of the acetic acid in it.)

Each bathroom is equipped with a spray bottle of 1 part vinegar, 2 parts water. There are 2 washcloths also. One for the toilets, one for the sinks/counters/tub. (Using the same one for everything gives me the heebie-jeebies.) The vinegar/water also works great on the mirrors. Also in each cabinet is a tall tupperware container of baking soda. This is for the toilets, tubs, and any hard-to-scrub spots on the counters/sinks. The kids just open the container and shake a bit into the toilet and the tub and then scrub away! Works great!

You can also find a spray bottle and container of baking soda under my kitchen sink. It's all I use in the kitchen now as well. I also use vinegar and water to mop my floors. It's always done a great job! This is currently the mop I use, but I'm thinking about getting one like this instead. I don't like having to wrap the elastic edges over my current mop every time I rinse it out and I think I'd like to have the microfiber pads instead of cotton.

Costco has 2 big jugs of vinegar for like $3 or something like that.....SO CHEAP! And they also have a big bag of baking soda....can't remember how much it is, but I'm pretty sure it's less than $5. Again....SO CHEAP!

We used to use so many throw-away products.... Lysol/Clorox disinfecting wipes, Swiffer dust cloths, Swiffer wet cloths, dryer sheets, I can't even count the number of different cleaners I had all over the house (Bleach, detergent, fabric softener, toilet cleaner, Windex, a bathroom spray, a kitchen spray.) All of that has been tossed out now, and I'm all about reusable stuff.

Want to know my new favorite cleaning secret? Microfiber towels. Really, they have a million different uses. I bought a big package of them from Costco when I first started cloth diapering. I planned on using them as inserts for my pocket diapers, but I found other inserts I liked better. Now I use the microfiber towels every day for other things.

They make the perfect duster. There's one in each of the kids' rooms for dusting each week. I rotate them about once a month.

They're super-absorbent, so I use them all the time in the kitchen. I keep a bottom drawer full of them and just pull one out whenever I need it. I use them almost exclusively instead of paper towels now in the kitchen. If there's a spill, the microfiber towels will get it up twice as fast.

I keep one on the counter for when I'm cutting up veggies and constantly washing them off and needing to dry my hands off. I use them for wiping up my children. I use at least 2-3 a day. And the best part is, you just toss them in the washer along with the regular kitchen towels and rags, and use them again and again! In fact, we just bought another huge pack from Costco. I can't seem to find them online to post a link, but they're in the automotive section at the store. Ours are bright yellow.

- I'm currently searching for some cloth napkins. I'll probably order those from Etsy as well.

Misc. Going Green Stuff
I know that there are a lot of things we could be doing, but aren't. Here are some more miscellaneous things we do along with some things we WANT to do, but aren't doing yet.

- We try to limit our sprinkler use. We turn them on in the evenings or early morning. And we just switched out some of the sprinkler heads to more efficient ones (instead of spraying, they have tubes you hook on that go to specific spots like bushes and plants).

- We use the energy-efficient lightbulbs. And I like them just fine, but they scare me a bit because if you break them, you practically have to call a HazMat team to clean it up.

- We use rechargeable batteries where we can.

- We have ceiling fans in all the bedrooms (except Tink's and Lady's room...still trying to figure that one out) to cut down on a/c use.

- We recycle. Our recycle bin is usually more full than our garbage bin.

- We use glass tupperware instead of plastic and we don't microwave on/in plastic containers.

- We just put down cork flooring which is a sustainable resource (quicker recovery than wood).

- We try to take quick showers/baths.

- We teach the kids to turn off the lights when they leave a room (this one is still a work in progress).

- Brent built 2 garden boxes this year. :)
We have yet to plant anything in them, but that's the ultimate goal! We're considering getting 1 or 2 of these. (They're $99 each at Costco right now.) But we'll probably only get them if we get a garden in.

- If we don't do a garden ourselves this year, our stake does a "Community Garden" with some land that the church owns next to our building. We can participate in that by helping plant and weed and reap the rewards when it's time to harvest!

- We buy local produce when we can. There's a small produce stand (owned by a family in our ward) just outside of our subdivision and another larger produce stand just up the street. I buy as much as I can from them throughout the summer.

- Eating vegetarian/vegan is considered green since we're not supporting the meat/dairy industry and farms.

- We have energy-efficient appliances.

- We just had a company come fill our attic with a whole lot more insulation than was currently up there. Right now there are some rebate incentives going on, so it really didn't cost all that much when all was said and done.

- We try not to drive too much. (Or maybe this has less to do with being green and more to do with the fact that I have 5 kids to haul around with me everywhere I go and therefore really try to condense my errands to as few as possible and try to be as efficient as possible with them.) ;)

- We've gone to paper-less billing for most of our bills. There are still some companies that are apparently behind the times and not offering this yet. But with those that do, I LOVE online payments.....so quick and easy and they help my stamps last a LOT longer!

- I'm currently looking into dishwasher detergent and toothpaste alternatives. So if you already know of some, let me know!


There are probably a few things I'm not thinking of and even more that I haven't even thought of doing. So give me your ideas. What things do you like to do to be more green, natural, or cheap?
I can edit them in at the bottom of the post as you comment. :)

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EDITED TO ADD:

Be forewarned that Etsy is a dangerous place. I found some cloth napkins I want and in doing so, found more things I want. These are great! (There are all sorts on there!) I bought some cloth bags from Harmon's that I love, but I need to be better at remembering to take them in the store with me. :)

There are also these and these. For those of you who send your kids to school with lunch, there are a LOT of reusable sandwich baggies and lunch bags/boxes.

I also found these and I really want some for the bread Brent makes each week. The woman who makes them has a blog that has inspired me a bit. Going plastic-free (as much as possible). Intriguing. I'll have to think on that a bit. We've already done quite a bit of that already, but she showed me even more ways I can be better.

Seeing stuff like this makes me realize I should just learn how to sew better. But the reality is that I have about 10 sewing projects that are needing to be worked on (and have been in need for longer than I care to share.....THAT'S how embarrassing it is). So the reality is that it might be worth my money to let someone else sew these things for me. Thank goodness for talented women!

****My awesome dental hygienist sister-in-law answered my request for a new toothpaste! She emailed me this response:

"Fun post Ann!! As far as a tooth paste goes. . .try your tried and true BAKING SODA!! Seriously, it works great! Technically, you don't really need a tooth paste to remove plaque from your teeth. . .water would be just fine as well. All the stuff they put in toothpaste is just for marketing anyway. The key to tooth brushing is at least 2 min of gentle brushing (not hard, fast scrubbing. . . leave that for the hands)"

See? Baking soda rocks! (Along with vinegar!)

Baby Boys

Right up front I will tell you that this is a post about circumcision. My views about circumcision have changed over the last number of years and my opinions have become stronger. This blog is going to be full of facts AND my opinions and I will use the correct terms for parts of the body (and maybe some incorrect terms, just because).

Just putting that out there. :)

If you are pro-circumcision and don't want your ideas challenged, then please read no further.

A little over 7 years ago, my first (and only, so far) son was born. It was a traumatic experience for many reasons. But the experience I'm left with the most "mommy-guilt" over is having him circumcised. And the only thing I can do is plead ignorance. I just didn't know any better and felt like that was a decision for the dad to make. And since Brent is circumcised, he felt that Roo should be. Oh, how I wish I could go back to that day and do it over again. Why? Because my mommy-gut (aka mother's intuition, aka the Spirit) was telling me "Don't let them do this." And I didn't follow it. Now, having learned what I've learned about this practice, I understand what my mommy-gut was trying to tell me.

Here is what I believe about circumcision now: At its very BEST it's unnecessary cosmetic surgery. At its very WORST it's male genital mutilation.

Let's look at reasons for keeping a baby boy whole at birth.

1. I don't believe God made a mistake when it comes to all male beings. All males are born with foreskin. Therefore it must serve a purpose. Men were created in the image of God, right? It would seem logical that that would include genitalia.

2. Birth, in and of itself, is a traumatic, tiring, new, sensational experience for a tiny little being to go through. Why should we top it all off by strapping him down and cutting him apart?

3. There are still a huge number of doctors who perform this surgery without the use of anesthetic. I should probably leave my opinion that those-doctors-should-be-strung-up-by-their-toes-and-left-for-the-vultures out of this, but there it is.

4. No experimental anesthetic has been found to be safe and effective in preventing circumcision pain. Research in this area continues and meanwhile, all these baby boys are basically guinea pigs.

5. The foreskin is FULL of nerve endings. It's one of the most sensitive areas on a male. Tell me again why we want to cut it off?

6. The foreskin DOES have a purpose (a few of them, actually). You can read about it here. And here's an article with just about every piece of information you could ever want to know about foreskin. It's not just some useless piece of skin. Suffice it to say that there are practical and sexual purposes.

7. It's elective surgery. ELECTIVE. SURGERY. What elective surgery might it be ok to put all baby girls through? Surgery is a serious thing. Things go wrong. Circumcisions get botched. Children DIE from this. Rare, yes, but still a risk. Foreskins are not a deformity in need of cosmetic repair.

8. The AAP does not recommend routine infant circumcision (RIC).

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Now let's look at some of the most often-used excuses people have for doing it.

1. First, my initial reasoning: "The dad should be the one to decide."
Why? Just because he has a penis? So I get to do whatever I want to my girls' vaginas without getting Brent's consent or input? What if I want to pierce their nether-regions? I'm fairly sure Brent would have an opinion about that, but since his nether-regions differ from his daughters' then he doesn't get a say? Somehow I'm thinking this wouldn't go over very well.

Yes, the dads have the same parts as their sons. Yes, they have experience in the men's locker room. Yes, they "get it" more than we moms ever will. But that doesn't mean mothers shouldn't get a say in what happens. It doesn't mean mothers' opinions on the matter count less.

2. "I want him to look like his dad."

First of all, I'd like a raise of hands from all of the men who've compared private parts with their dads. I'm guessing the last time most men did was when they were between the ages of 3 and 8, which is a time when there are a heck of a lot more differences "down there" than foreskin or lack of foreskin. If we want our sons to look like their fathers, should we also glue some hair on? Because that's usually the first thing my kids notice.

And if this is the argument, then should we also give our daughters breast implants? Because my girls have all noticed the difference there.

3. "He'll get made fun of in the locker room if he's intact."
Luckily leaving boys intact is a rising trend. There are different estimates out there, but in a lot of states the ratio is 50/50. (Unfortunately it's probably not that high in my state {insert eye-rolling}.)

Here are my counter-arguments for this one:

I think most boys are going to be able to think of a pretty good comeback for the first boy to start making fun of his parts. Why on earth is any boy checking out the packages on his classmates?

Also, I think if you teach your intact son about the differences up-front and let him know how lucky he is to still have his foreskin, he'll probably be able to handle a little teasing and even turn it back around on the teasers.

And again, let's compare this to girls. I was what you might call a "slow-grower" when it came to my boobs. While I was inches taller than most girls my age, my chest was sadly-lacking when most other girls had something worthy of wearing a bra for. I think I finally convinced my mother to give me a bra in the 7th or 8th grade since I was in PE, even though I technically didn't need it yet. She gave me my sister's old bra. The problem with that was when my sister started wearing a bra, she had a reason to. Since my reason was not visible, it meant I had to make the choice between Kleenex and Wrinkle-Chest. I opted for Kleenex. So if anybody knows anything about locker-room embarrassment, I think I've got a pretty good handle on it.

So now bringing this back around to my daughters. If they take after me, they will probably go through some tough times in the "boob-lacking department." Does this mean I should give them implants to save them from some *possible* embarrassment? Or should I speak with them openly and honestly and often about how each person's body develops on a different time-line and that getting boobs at the age of 8 isn't necessarily a good thing?

4. "It's cleaner to be circumcised."

There is nothing about foreskin that is inherently dirty. All little boys need to be taught good hygiene. And they'll all probably go through phases where their hygiene may be a little lacking, according to their mothers. But that's what makes them boys, right? This is simply a matter of teaching children how to care for their bodies. And taking care of an intact penis is no harder than taking care of a circumcised penis. In fact, at first it's easier since you shouldn't retract the foreskin on an intact baby boy. You wash it like you would a finger.

5. "They're more likely to get UTIs (urinary tract infections) when left intact."
This is actually partially false. There is a higher probability of boys under the age of 1 getting UTIs (circumcised and intact boys, but with intact boys being at a higher risk) over girls, but by the age of 5, UTIs are 50 times more common in girls than in boys. And by adulthood, UTIs are 30 times more common among women than men.

So if you really look at it, maybe it's the girls we should be taking the knife to if we're so concerned about UTIs. Oh wait, that's against the law. So why is it allowed for little boys?

The UTI argument, to me, is akin to saying, "My child might possibly get hang nails in the future. We should pull out his/her fingernails and toenails just to lessen the chance." Or "Our family has a history of bad teeth. We should just pull our kids' teeth as soon as they come in and just give them dentures now."

6. "Intact penises are ugly." (Yes, I've heard people give this reasoning.)

First of all, beauty is ALWAYS in the eye of the beholder. Second of all, I don't think male or female genitalia are particularly pleasant-looking, so why is it ok to perform cosmetic surgery on one and not the other? If it's just to make them prettier to look at, shouldn't we be giving equal treatment to our girls?

7. "God commanded it in the Bible."
God commanded a lot of things in the Bible that He hasn't commanded in latter days. He also only commanded circumcision for a few different groups of people, not everybody. But the most important thing to know about this is that Biblical circumcision looked nothing like today's circumcision. They took off MUCH less skin. They basically cut off the very tip, not the entire foreskin like is done today. Here's a good article about why Biblical circumcision has nothing to do with the practice of it today. And here are some references in Mormon scripture about circumcision.

8. "I know a guy who had to have a circumcision when he was older (a teen, adult, etc.) and it was HORRIBLE!!!"

This one just defies logic, to me. Why would it be any less horrible for an infant? (I would argue that it's worse for the infant.) Most people use the excuse that it's better because they won't remember it. Like that somehow means it doesn't affect them. It has been well-documented that the newborn's behavior changes following circumcision. I know it did with my son. They are more irritable, more fussy, are harder to console. It causes problems with breastfeeding quite often. And it has an effect on the mother-baby bond.

When anyone other than an infant goes in for a circumcision, they are put under general anesthesia. This is thought to be too risky for an infant, so they aren't given this privilege. When anyone other than an infant goes home from a circumcision, they are given pain meds and ointments and smelling salts to ward off erections to try to ease their pain as much as possible. Why aren't infants given these same things? We take them home and are told to put vaseline on their diapers so that their wounds won't stick. That's about it. When will we stop treating babies as sub par humans? Just because they can't vocalize their pain and agony, like someone older can, doesn't make it any less real.

The truth is that there is rarely a true medical need for a circumcision. Doctors (especially urologists) are quick to jump on the "he needs a circumcision" bandwagon when there are usually other ways of dealing with any issues. Only 1 in every 100 intact men ever has any sort of medical problem regarding their foreskin. And a huge percentage of those still will never need surgery to correct it. So why circumcise the other 99?

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If we have more sons, they will be left whole at birth. I believe (now) that a child has the right to decide for themselves what should be done with such a personal piece of their body. Some may then question, "Well, how are you going to explain to your boys about the fact that they're different?" The simple answer to that is: we'll talk to them. Really, we're quite open parents about all of this stuff, and I already plan on explaining to Roo why I would choose a different path now than I did then, even if we don't have another boy. And I hope that he will take that information with him when he goes on to have children of his own and will end this cycle. The other thing is, just because they're brothers, it doesn't mean they'd have identical penises anyway. I've seen brothers who are quite different in that department. How do their parents explain it? Or is it even something that gets brought up? Who knows? I don't have 2 boys. What I do know is that I won't put another child through cosmetic surgery so that he'll match his older brother, just like I wouldn't scar any of my children just to match their siblings' scars.


For anyone looking for more information, I've got some links. If you think you are leaning toward not having any future sons circumcised, but not sure if you can get your husband on-board, check out this link.

Here's a link with Frequently Asked Questions about circumcision.

This website is full of lots of great information about circumcision, its history, etc.

Circumcision Resource Center

http://www.nocirc.org/

If you think I'm brazen in my words and opinions, here's a lady who's even more outspoken than I. She takes the boy/girl comparisons one step further.

http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/


My goal in writing this post is to hopefully have parents think twice about circumcision, do some in-depth research about it, and pray hard before making this permanent decision for their little boys.

Keeping Me Humble

My kids are very good at keeping me humble. They're the first to tell me how great I am, but they're also the first to point out my weaknesses. And they somehow manage to do it in a completely innocent, non-judging sort of way, leaving me unable to feel resentment toward them like I might with other people pointing out my inadequacies.

For example, I've been feeling pretty good about myself physically lately. Brent and I have been exercising regularly, we've been trying to eat healthier, and our bodies are starting to show us the results. It feels good. So to bring me back to reality, here are a couple of conversations I've had lately with the littles.

Tink (while watching me do my make-up): Mom, what's that?

Me: A zit.

Tink (with a look of disgust-mixed-with-curiosity-mixed-with-horror on her face as her finger slowly makes its way up to my face. She almost touches it, but then pulls her hand back as if it might be contagious): Why is it so big and red?

Me: Because it was a big zit under the skin that hurt really bad so I tried to pop it too early and instead created a crater on my face.

Tink: Oh. Why do you have so many zits?

Me: Because I don't have a baby in my tummy. (One of my favorite things about being pregnant is the way my skin clears up. Post-partem, it all goes down the tubes again.)

I'm sure I completely confused the poor girl as to how a baby in my tummy could have anything to do with red dots on my face.

After this part of the conversation, I was feeling very paranoid about my crater-zit, so I tried to cover it up with a little cover-up concealer stick, which I NEVER use since putting anything on my skin usually just causes the break-outs to get worse.

Tink: What's that stuff?

Me: Stuff to try to cover up the zit and make it look less red.

Tink (after watching my pathetic attempts): It's not working, Mommy.

Me: I know. :(

------------ A few minutes later --------------

Tink (while watching me pluck my eyebrows): What are all those black dots on your face? (Around my eyebrows.)

Me: Hairs.

Tink: Why are they all around your eyebrows? That's not where they're supposed to grow.

Me: I know. Because life's unfair.


See? Keeping me humble. And to be fair to Tink, when I was all done with my make-up, she stood back to take a good look at me and said, "Mommy, you wook bootiful." Thanks, Tink. That almost makes up for the plummet in my self-esteem.

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Another day, the girls were all playing with my hair. Roo decided to join in. (I LOVE it when they brush and play with my hair. It's one of my favorite things. I get into a zen-like trance and can't think straight.)

Roo: Mom, your hair is getting long!

Me: I know! Isn't it exciting?

Roo: Yeah, but I can see some hairs in here that aren't the same.

Me: I know, Roo.

Roo: They're white, Mom.

Me (losing my zen): I know, Roo.

Roo: There's a lot of them, Mom.

Me (zen flies out the window) : I know, Roo. Let's all play the Quiet-Game while we brush Mommy's hair now!



I have now decided that when I create my own worlds, there will be a law-of-nature that says that a person can't have zits and white hairs at the same time. And if she's 30 years old, she can't have either of them. Yeah, that's a good law.

All About June

Oh how I love babies. Especially MY babies! :)

June is growing like a weed. She gets cuter by the minute. Here are some fun facts about June at 10 months old.

1. She loves food. Pretty much any food. She has 8 teeth now and is putting them to good use. Sometimes I wonder if she loves the experience of eating even more than the different tastes and textures. This was after giving her some avacado. The rest of the day, AJ referred to her as the Avacado Alien.
2. She's fat. Seriously fat. My mom thinks she's the fattest of my babies so far. She might be right. :)

Do you see the boobs? Beautiful.
(Also, for those of you wondering, her necklace is made of amber. It's a teething necklace, but not for chewing on. Amber has natural analgesic qualities which are released into her skin and help soothe her when she's teething. You can read more about them here. That's where I got June's. :) )

3. She can't crawl yet. She scoots backward on her tummy and on her back, but has yet to figure out getting up on her hands and knees and moving forward....which is alright with Brent and me. We blame it on her fat. After all, that is a big load to hold up.

4. She's one of the happiest babies I've ever encountered. Unless there's something really wrong, she can usually be found smiling.

5. She has recently discovered her voice. And since she has 4 other siblings to compete with, she has quickly figured out the need for volume. High-pitched volume. Dinner time seems to be a favorite time of hers to tell us all what she thinks, resulting in a headache for Brent and (loud) laughter from the kids. (Apparently I'm fairly used to the volume in this house, being in it all day, and occasionally contributing to it, so I have developed a headache immunity.)

6. She's starting to sign back to us now and so far her favorite is "more."

7. She's hasn't been naked for long periods of time over the winter since it was so cold, so I just recently discovered a new depth to her chub. I give you....... the roll above the knee (you can also see her cankle well in this pic):

8. With her new-found love of being naked, she's started taking pleasure in her own chub. She may love playing with her rolls as much as her mama does. :)
9. When she gets excited, she rolls and twists her ankles and her wrists, shakes her arms up and down, and makes this face:
10. She loves all of her fans....I mean siblings. All of them. Her biggest fan is her 2yo sister, Lady. Remember that doll from the 80's.....Kid Sister? Well, that song is quite appropriate for the way Lady feels about June.

(June was starting to get upset in this pic, so Lady brought her a blanket. That's her solution for everything since Lady loves her blanket (the one on the left) so much.)

(This is the face you get when you tell Lady to "say cheese." I love it.)

And one more for good measure:

11. She has 2 conflicting cowlicks at the back of her head, so she often looks like Alfalfa, although I couldn't find a good picture showing off her turkey-tail, so you'll just have to imagine the cuteness.

I'm NOT Brave

And once again, somebody else says it better than I can.


I know I'm not the most gifted writer. I sometimes border on worrying more about my punctuation, spelling, and grammar than about what I'm actually saying. My homebirth post was healing and therapeutic for me to write, but obviously charged with many emotions and didn't really come across the way I intended. So someone else (once again) wrote out my thoughts better than I did. This woman gives all the reasons, without the emotional charge behind them, of why homebirth has nothing to do with bravery and everything to do with safety.

I'm sure this won't be the last time I write about homebirth, but hopefully it'll be the last time for a while. I have many other topics I want to write about, including one very cute baby, in a post to come soon. :)

Because I needed a laugh today

And my all-time favorite:

Post-edit Homebirth

Apparently I've offended a few with my homebirth post (specifically nurses and other medical professionals). I am truly sorry for this. I really never have the intention to offend, although I understand why my opinions are offensive to some.

I would like to clarify some of my statements and hopefully clear up some things.

In the past, some of my controversial posts have had a bit of humor in them, usually to try to lighten the weight of the heavy emotions that accompany the things I talk about. This is one area that is so close to my heart that I didn't let in much humor, and instead I went too far the other way and was probably too cynical. I apologize for this.

As I stated in the beginning, I am not anti-hospital, nor anti-doctor (male or female), nor anti-Western medicine, and ESPECIALLY not anti-nurse. I have experienced first-hand the difference a good nurse can make on many occasions. Half my family consists of nurses. My sister and 3 sisters-in-law are nurses (and excellent ones at that). I am grateful that there are doctors willing to put so much on the line to help women have babies. My personal opinion is that doctors should only be utilized for high-risk or emergency situations. But I understand not everybody agrees with this. I don't have any ill feelings toward anyone who chooses to have a doctor at their delivery.

I understand that there are many medical professionals who are wonderful at their jobs and always put the patients first. The problem I have is when the hospitals' or doctors' policies conflict with what is best for the patients, which is what I feel happens over and over again during labor and delivery. While the policies may be under the heading "Going to the extreme just in case the worst scenario happens," making it seem like they're going above and beyond to keep mother and baby safe, I don't doubt that MANY of the policies came into effect after lawsuits. After all, while hospitals and doctors are all about saving lives, there's still the bottom line of making money. And they can't stay in business if they're being sued left and right. I don't doubt that our healthcare system would be in a very different place if there wasn't the issue of liability. People expect medical professionals to be gods (and still sometimes treat them as such). But the truth is, they're human. They make mistakes in their jobs just like the rest of us. Only we don't usually cause harm to another person when we make such mistakes. I don't envy them this position.

The other reason for some of the policies, I believe, is to hopefully lessen the amount of lawsuits. If a doctor can say, "Look, I followed procedure, I followed the policies, I'm not at fault." then a parent is less likely going to be able to sue and win. Whereas if a doctor can only say, "I went with my gut." then they're going to be in a world of hurt when a parent decides to sue. The thing is, I'd rather have a doctor who goes with their gut every time.

And I respect any nurse who goes along with the policies, after all, it's his/her job. And since they've been taught that this is what's best for the patient, they usually believe it (there are some nurses who are against a lot of hospital policies....I was lucky enough to get one of them with Lady's birth). But just because they believe it, that doesn't make it true in every case.

Any nurse understands that every patient is different. So why, then, is this not taken into consideration with all of the policies I mentioned? They are one-size-fits-all policies and most of the time not presented to the patient as something about which they have a choice to make. If a policy is presented to a patient as a choice at all, it's usually very one-sided. "Here are your choices, but this one is the right one." This is completely unfair to the patient. Every option should be presented to the patient along with the pros and cons without the underlying message of "this choice is right and this choice is wrong." I presented one side of the issue with regards to each intervention. I'm assuming that most women will find out or have found about the other side of the issue at the hospital.

One of my biggest beefs with doctors (and even hospital midwives as I experienced last week) is that they seem to not take into account that they're the employee. Instead of giving their patients options and letting them decide what's best for themselves, they tell the patient what is going to happen because after all, they know best, right? They may know a heck of a lot more about the medical world than I do, but it's still my body and my baby's body and *I* should get the final say on what happens. I understand there isn't always time for this in life-threatening circumstances, but I'm not talking about those scenarios. I'm talking about the smaller stuff. Like whether or not you get an episiotomy (and like I said in my last post, thank heavens these are rare these days). My (female) doctor didn't ask me if I wanted one, she told me I needed one a half-second before she cut me. This is nothing less than abuse of power and, really, could be seen as assault. Luckily not every doctor is like this. My best doctor-experience was with Tink's birth. My doctor let me be in control and treated me very respectfully. She asked first before doing any procedures and was very respectful of my wishes. I am grateful for that. Unfortunately, in my experience, she is in the minority.


I would like to clarify some of the terms I used. When I referred to myself as a sheep following the herd, it was not meant to put the label of "sheep" on any woman who chooses to have a hospital birth. There are some women who have really thoroughly researched and pondered and prayed about the appropriate place for them to give birth. I would never refer to them as sheep. But let's be honest, there are women who can be called sheep, including myself in the past. I had no idea what childbirth was all about, and I just turned it over to the medical establishment to take care of. I was afraid. I was afraid of childbirth because society told me it was something to be feared. That it was unbearable pain. That I couldn't handle it. That women had lost their ability to give birth without numbing themselves. That science had taken over and made pain-free childbirth available and that it was better than what mother nature (or God) created. That I could possibly be that one out of every 3 women who could not give birth vaginally to her child and the only thing I could do about it was pray that I wouldn't be. There are a lot of women today who can be labeled "sheep." If that's offensive, I'm sorry. I don't blame them. It's scary to take responsibility for something so huge as bringing a life into this world. And when there are doctors and nurses willing to take that responsibility off their shoulders, they give it willingly.

Like I said, there are women who research it out, understand their role as a laboring mother, understand the risks and benefits of each and every intervention, and choose to give birth in a hospital and opt-in or -out of whatever interventions the hospital offers. (My sister was one of these and there aren't very many people in this world I have as much respect for as her.) These are not the women I'm referring to as sheep. But if you believe that these women are the majority, I'd argue that you're very wrong.

Also, by research, I mean more than just listening to stories of homebirths-gone-bad from friends of friends. Because for every homebirth horror story, I can give you many, many more hospital-birth horror stories. The fact is that children have died or been injured during homebirths and children have died or been injured during hospital births. Some of these deaths have been a direct result of where they were giving birth or the skill of their caretaker, and some of these have been the result of nature. Not every baby or mother can be saved, unfortunately. To think that just because you're giving birth at a hospital you're immune from tragedy is incorrect. Also to think that you have the upper-hand should tragedy befall because you're at the hospital is short-sighted. It may very well be the hospital that causes the tragedy.

With regards to the word "idiots" I actually stand by that one. Because I used it in reference to hospitals that continue to offer ice chips as the ONLY means of nourishment during labor besides IV fluids (which have been shown to cause complications of their own during labor and with the baby after). To me, this is pure idiocy. If you're offended by that, I'm sorry, but I stand by my statement. At the very least, juice and water have proven beneficial and are often more helpful/comforting/satisfying than ice chips. (For the record, I'm not calling any one person or medical personnel idiots. The policy is idiotic and any hospital that won't change is, to me, idiotic.)

My use of the term "stupid" was also called into question. And again, I stand by it. If you read the post, it seems clear, but I will further clarify that I was referring to the universal policy of having every baby vaxed against Hep B stupid. I do consider this to be a stupid policy. I don't consider someone who chooses to have their baby vaxed stupid. Again, this is a one-size-fits-all policy, which is what I'm vehemently opposed to. There are babies who absolutely should be vaccinated for Hep B, but there are others (like mine) who there is absolutely no benefit for, and therefore can only be seen as detrimental (for my babies) since there are risks involved with the vaccination.

I'd also like to clarify the "CYA" thing. I don't think that most medical personnel even understand that that's what it's about. (And truly, CYA isn't always what it's about, but even if they do feel a certain policy is best, there's also the added benefit of making them less liable.) They're just following hospital policy and really believing that by doing so they're putting their patient first. Which, for their intents and purposes, they are. So I really have no ill feelings toward nurses just trying to do their jobs. They are doing what they've been taught and I've known my fair share of excellent nurses. One nurse saved my birth experience on one occasion, and another nurse ruined another one. I even don't have ill feelings toward doctors who really believe that they are doing what's right by the patient. The problem is that most doctors believe that they are, even when statistics would suggest otherwise. There really aren't a lot of doctors willing to think outside of the box. So many are stuck in the rut of what's been done for years, they either don't have the willingness or patience or time to consider any other options.

For example, my sister's midwife is currently working on her thesis for her doctorate. It is all about delayed cord-clamping. The benefits are already proven. There are huge benefits and no risks if baby is healthy right after birth. So her thesis wasn't on that. It was on how much time and effort it will take to get the medical establishment (ie doctors) to change the way they do things. Or if they even could get them all to change. Does that tell you anything?


I would now like to clarify a couple of statements made that were either incomplete or incorrect. The first being about the Vitamin K shot. My statement about the shot was incomplete. And for the record, I feel that this is one of the more benign interventions. There is a risk when opting out of it. Some babies may have bleeds internally that could be life-threatening if not stopped. This is a very rare occurrence, as are complications from the shot. My point is mainly to show that this is yet another CHOICE that needs to be weighed and measured before making a decision. But again, it is rarely presented as an option.

The other statement was actually made in one of the earlier posts with regards to women aspirating during an emergency c-section when under general anesthesia. In looking up studies about this, I mis-"spoke" what I had read. This has happened. Women have aspirated during a c-section. What hasn't happened is the mother dying because of this. It may have happened at some point in history here in the US, but there have been no deaths reported in the US in the last 20 years. There was one in Australia in the 80's and one in the UK in the 90's. The reports I did find found that, in the US, between 1979 and 1990, the actual incidence of aspiration during birth is 7 per 10 million births. I'd say those are fairly low odds. And the benefit of good, light nutrition during labor has been shown to increase good outcomes. In fact, the WHO (World Health Organization) states that women need increased energy for the requirements of labor and a woman’s desire for food and liquid should not interfere with the natural process of labor and will ensure both fetal and maternal well-being. If there is a higher probability of a women needing a c-section during labor, then she may be wise to abstain from too much food. But again, the one-size-fits-all policy is what gets my goat.


One issue I'd like to clear up is the misinformation that's out there surrounding homebirth and midwives. Doctors aren't the only ones who know what to do if "crap hits the fan." This is one of the areas where people have the most inaccurate ideas about homebirth. They think that my midwife just comes here to provide comfort measures and to clean up the mess. That idea is entirely off-base. My midwife is highly-skilled and highly-trained. She's been through hundreds of labors from beginning to end. How many doctors can say that? She is trained in infant and mother resuscitation and comes prepared with medical supplies should things take a turn for the worse. She's also trained to look for EARLY signs of complications and to transfer to a hospital at the drop of a hat, should the need arise. It's not like she just keeps the mother at home come what may.

A couple of people feel that I was bashing hospital birth. Or the choices that they, themselves, have made. I am absolutely not doing that. I would never have ill feelings toward someone who CHOOSES a different path than me. What I'm doing is trying to show women that there are CHOICES. That just because your doctor says one thing is best, it doesn't always mean it's best for you. I'm calling into question hospital policies and the reasons behind them. I am not trying to call into question people who choose to adhere to those policies. Nothing will ever change if no one questions the way things are done. And since the US's statistics are so horrendous, I don't think it's harmful to call these things into question. Maybe there are things that could be done differently that would make for better outcomes for women and babies. And I am all-for EVERY woman making her OWN decisions regarding her birth experience. What is right for me is not right for everyone. Having women educate themselves about their options and thereby feeling confidence in their choices is my ultimate goal.

In writing that post I was trying to state the reasons *I* chose a homebirth and to hopefully show what it is and help people see what it isn't. And also to show them that even if they choose a hospital birth, that there are choices when it comes to what interventions they get. And that there are risks and benefits associated with every intervention and they shouldn't make these decisions blindly, just trusting the medical personnel to know what's best for them and their baby.


One other area that I haven't touched on, that I'd like to is giving birth in a birthing center. These are becoming more and more popular and therefore more widely available. It's a great medium-ground for anyone who doesn't like the medical-style of a hospital, but has reservations about having a homebirth. There are a lot that are built right next to a hospital so that transfers are quick and easy should something go wrong. Unfortunately there aren't any near me that are attached to the hospitals and my home was about the same distance as the nearest birthing center to the hospital. So there was really no added benefit of going to one. Again, it's all about the choices. :)