Buddy is now 16 months old. He is doing so much better than a few months ago, it is amazing. He is HAPPY. And he is happy MORE than he is sad. I wasn't sure if we'd ever get to this place. He is so darling when he's happy! He has the cutest smile and a very infectious laugh. He has the other 7 people in this house wrapped around his little finger. People who come to the house always make a comment about how loved this child is.
His tummy issues seem to be mostly gone. He doesn't cry in pain anymore these days. And he's even tolerating a bit of dairy, though we try not to give him much because dairy's just not great anyway.
Everyone always asks how his sleeping is going. He is still not sleeping all the way through the night. But he sleeps usually 6 or 7 hours at a time, so that means he usually doesn't wake up until 3 or 4am. For about a week and a half he was only waking once a night. It was heavenly. I felt energized each day and so grateful for the sleep. After that long, I was really hoping we were on a great, new schedule. I was wrong, lol. He's back to waking 2-3 times a night. But if I'd just go to bed earlier, like at 10 (ha! I wish!), I'd get 5 or more hours straight, which would be awesome. Right now I'm just happy that when he does wake up, he will usually nurse right back to sleep and actually sleep when I put him back in bed (at least for another hour or so). Before, he was waking up and staying awake crying. That was hard. This is so much better.
(Dancing.)
We think he possibly has a bit of hypoglycemia. He NEEDS to eat often. He quickly goes into a downward spiral if he's hungry. So we try to stay on top of that.
Going through pictures, I realized we take a LOT of pics of Buddy in his highchair. He really is quite funny at meal times. He's happy when he eats.
It's genetic. ;)
(What can I say? He has sisters.)
(CHEESE!!!)
Buddy has really become an integral part of our family. He fits right in and has taught us all how to be more kind and patient and compassionate. I can't imagine life without this little boy. And can I tell you how fun it is to have a boy again after so long? There were so many things I'd forgotten about. I am loving it! And Roo is the BEST big brother ever. He is protective and sweet and always willing to play cars, dinosaurs, or Legos with Buddy. They are so cute together.
Buddy is, by far, our cuddliest baby. He willingly dishes out loves and kisses all the time. He also is more comfortable being held by men than women, which is a first for our babies. He loves going to his grandpas and a few of his uncles. I love it, since most of my babies have gravitated to women and sometimes our brothers miss out on cuddles.
He's my first child that doesn't run away the minute I put him down. I've always watched other mothers/children in amazement when the kids stay right there by their mothers. My children have always jumped at the opportunity to explore (usually at a running pace) the moment their feet hit the floor. Buddy is content to stay within a radius of a few feet of me. Let me tell you how nice that is!
Buddy thinks that AJ is his second mother. He even chooses her over me sometimes. (He knows that he's more likely to get what he wants with her....she's a sucker for his sad face, lol.) I love watching their relationship. AJ always jumps at the chance to get him up from his nap. She loves that cuddle time with him. He adores her and usually does just fine in a new situation if she's there with him.
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This last year+ of life has been fairly hard. (Not when compared to some people's trials, but I try not to compare.) My body is proof of the stress we've been under. I could look in the mirror and be frustrated at the weight and gray hairs I've gained. But I'm trying to be kinder to myself. My body is an amazing gift from God. It has given me 6 beautiful children. And when I'm stressed out, it has done what it's supposed to do. It has gone into survival-mode, which means holding onto extra calories and weight. And boy, have I given it plenty to hold onto, lol. But in a way, I think it's kind of cool that, if we lived during caveman times, I would probably have survived a famine, lol. That's a comforting thought, right? (See me finding the silver lining?)
I have always had body-image issues. I don't know too many women who don't. How can we NOT in this world? But I have realized (again) recently what a gift our bodies are. I believe that I was given the body that I need to have on this earth. And I am ever so grateful for it. It may not look like what the world deems as beautiful, but it is beautiful to God and it is beautiful to me.
I am in a much better place mentally now than I was a few months ago. So I am trying to give my body permission to rid itself of the excess. I am trying to give myself permission to be happy and optimistic again....to enjoy life and be grateful for all that I have been given. And I am SO grateful. It's been making me weepy lately just thinking about all that I have been blessed with.
(Lady took this pic on our birthday date with her a few months ago. I love it.)
We went on a double date with Brent's brother and SIL this weekend (Vance and Page). Talking with Page is always rejuvenating for me. She always helps me put things in perspective and always makes me feel good about myself. She is an amazing inspiration and example to me. In talking about our husbands, we just kept remarking about how grateful we are for them. Neither of us realized what awesome men we married when we were first married. I just feel so lucky to be Brent's wife.
The older my kids get, the more I realize what awesome spirits God is saving for last. They are so much better than me! Sometimes it's intimidating being their mother because I feel like I'm the one doing all the learning and growing. They're the teachers! I am in awe of God's design. Families are the best way to learn how to be like Him. Our relationships with our spouse and our children are what will teach us and help us get back to Heavenly Father. Of this I am sure. I am so thankful for the families that I have been blessed with-- the family I grew up in, the family I married into, and the family Brent and I have created. As hard as the testing and stretching times are, I wouldn't give them up. It is through being tried and stretched and uncomfortable that I learn the most. God has shown me many muscles that I didn't know I had. And He has exercised them and made them stronger. It has not been a comfortable process, but it has made me a stronger person. I am grateful that He knows the plan for me and that I can take comfort in knowing He wants what's best for me.
Sorry, I didn't mean to turn this into a testimony, but it feels good to feel and acknowledge God's hand in my life. My friend, Julie, posted this beautiful Mormon Message about fatherhood. It strikes a chord when I think about what an awesome father Brent is. But I think the same can also be said of mothers and our relationship with our Heavenly Mother. Our experiences here as parents parallel that of our experiences with our Heavenly Parents so often. It does me good to remember that I am not alone, that someone else loves these spirits even more than I do, that *I* am loved with such fierceness, and that we are all working for the same goal....to all live together once more in the hereafter.
