Why do I homeschool?

I get asked this question a lot. And then it's usually followed by an emphatic, "I could never do that." If you would've talked to me about homeschooling a few years ago, that would've been my response too.

But then Heavenly Father changed my mind.

Here's my story. When it was just about time for AJ to go to Kindergarten, I started to get a pit in my stomach. Then the time came for her first day. I walked her to the bus stop with the camera like a good mother and showed her my (fake) excitement in her first day of school. I didn't cry until the bus was out of sight. I'm not sure if I stopped crying until I saw the bus return later that day. I made Brent follow the bus to school that whole first week. I kept being assured by other mothers that the pit in my stomach would go away. I kept waiting for that to happen. It didn't.

At this same time, I kept feeling promptings from the Holy Ghost that I needed to be doing something different in regards to our family. I couldn't figure out what it was. We'd gotten pregnant with Lady, so it wasn't that we needed to add to the family......that was being taken care of. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what change needed to occur. I prayed about it for what seemed like forever. Then one day I was reading something on the internet and somebody mentioned homeschooling. Have you ever gotten an answer to a prayer that was like somebody punching you in the chest? I think I actually had a physical reaction when I read that word.

My first thought was, "You've got to be kidding me. I'm not a 'homeschooling' kind of mom." But I couldn't deny the answer I'd received. So I began to pray about it and I started to research it like crazy. The more I prayed about it and researched it, the more my confidence grew in the fact that *I could do this*. It also helped that Heavenly Father thought I could do it. :) The pit in my stomach slowly started to go away.

Then came the day thatI decided to talk to Brent about it. I was very nervous. His initial reaction was much like mine....

"WHAT?!?!"

But after talking to him about the research I'd done and the confirmation I'd felt through prayer, he agreed that we could try it for a while. The next question was when to start. How do you go about pulling your kid out of school? Should I pull Roo out too? (He was in preschool at the time and we'd just had some incidents which I wasn't happy about....ie: the teacher telling him he'd cut something out wrong and colored something wrong. What the heck? How does a 3 year old do either of those things *wrong*?)

The answer came shortly before Christmas break. At parent-teacher conference. First of all, let me say that AJ loved school. She's quite the social butterfly (remember what AJ stands for?). I went into PTC expecting to hear what all my teachers told my parents....."Ann is a great student, but we can't get her to stop talking. It doesn't matter who she sits by, we've moved her all over the classroom. She just can't stop talking to her neighbors."

What I got was quite different. Her teacher was a very nice lady. She sat down with me and showed me all the curriculum and art projects AJ had been working on. She showed me where AJ was in each subject. She talked about AJ's penmanship and other such silliness. I was starting to get frustrated. "I KNOW all that stuff. You send home most of her schoolwork anyway. I see this. Tell me what she's like in school. Tell me about my daughter....who her friends are....how she behaves in class....what her favorite recess activity is." I knew a lot of those answers already anyway, from talking to AJ herself about it, but I wanted to know what the teacher knew about my daughter. After all, it's not like she's a wallflower. The teacher couldn't tell me ANYTHING about her besides what was on paper. I left extremely disappointed. Why was I sending my daughter to this person who didn't even KNOW her to be taught by her?

After much thought, I realized why I was angry, sad, and disappointed. It was because I was jealous. This other woman got to be the one with my daughter when she learned new things. She got to see all of the "A-ha!" moments. She got to see her reaction to new things and new experiences. And yet she was missing it all. She didn't notice those moments. She didn't notice AJ's reactions and feelings. And who can blame her? Like I said, she was an extremely nice lady, but she had a classroom full of 25 5 year olds. How can you even begin to get to know them all (except the "naughty" ones (who I don't believe are really, truly naughty, just not able to sit at a desk for 4 hours)), let alone *notice* any of the extra things that happen, like "A-ha!" moments?

Then it hit me.....*I* know my daughter. *I* know her learning style. *I* know how to teach her. So why shouldn't I?

It was then that I decided that AJ wouldn't be going back to school after the Christmas break. Brent and I had some really good talks with her before we did all of this and she agreed that she'd like to try homeschooling. So I pulled her and Roo out of school at Christmas break and they haven't been back since.

There were a number of other reasons that were shown to me through all of my research and prayers too. I started to do some math and the thought of AJ going to 1st grade made that pit in my stomach return immediately. The thought of her being somewhere else everyday for LONGER than she was at home (not counting sleeping) did not give me any warm fuzzies. I *knew* that I couldn't send her away from home for 8 hours everyday. It would break my heart. I had been praying a lot about how to teach my kids the gospel and how to teach them the importance of family relationships and about the morals and values I wanted to instill in them. With the state of the world being what it is today, I felt like I wouldn't be able to accomplish all that I waned to accomplish in the few minutes we might have together after school (somewhere between homework, chores, playing with friends, eating dinner, any extra curricular activities, and bedtime). Also I read in the scriptures and in a number of conference talks and Ensign articles where it was reiterated that parents are responsible for teaching their children. In my praying, I found out that, for me, this meant in all aspects.

There have been a number of rough patches along the way. Brent and I have strong personalities and we haven't made any children who are lacking in that area. And I've learned that Roo has a totally different learning style than AJ, which has brought about challenges for myself because I've had to *learn* how to teach him. I LOVE the fact that I'm still learning. I love that I learn something new about my kids everyday. I love that I've been able to figure out different ways to teach Roo. (I still need to find some more). And I love that I haven't sent him to a place where they expect him to learn ONE way and if he doesn't learn that way, well then he's just out of luck. I am sure there are aspects of public school that he would LOVE, but I can't help but wonder what would happen to his already-fragile self esteem (he takes failure very personally and can have a hard time recovering) if he were in a system where he was failing just because of the way something was being taught to him....not because he couldn't learn it.

Tink has really taken off in the last year as well and is doing a lot of independent learning. She is a strong-willed little spirit and is like her mama and loves checking off her list everyday. She and AJ usually do their independent study up in their room together. AJ helps her if she needs it. I love that relationship.

And Lady is in Kindergarten (technically) this year. She's learning how to read and add and is really gaining speed lately. She loves our "preschool" time when I read and play with her and June. June just wants to be a part of everything. When we have scripture time, she gets out her Book of Mormon (a hand-me-down from AJ) and sits and "reads" along with us. It's awesome.

Every year since we started, we've done things a little (or a lot) different from the year before. And I keep learning about new ways and new techniques and styles of learning and homeschooling. I am so drawn to unschooling, but I don't know if I have the fortitude to follow through with it. It is a LOT of work for the mom, but it is so appealing. I think it's the ideal way to keep a child interested in learning and really teach them HOW to learn. That's really my goal....to keep my kids' love of learning alive and to teach them HOW to learn. (I'm still learning this myself as well....I have to un-learn a lot of things from school.) A book I've read recently has really shifted my paradigm. It's "The Element" by Sir Ken Robinson.  It's a really intriguing read.

I'm not trying to preach here, really. I know homeschooling isn't for everybody. But it's started to really take off in the last few years since we started. There are a lot of co-ops and some really great online groups that you can join and get advice and feedback. It really is a different world, even from when we started. The biggest thing for me is just getting to be with my kids everyday. I wouldn't trade our experiences for anything. Everyday is certainly not sunshine and roses, but we're learning and growing together and I love it.

Why do I homeschool?

I get asked this question a lot. And then it's usually followed by an emphatic, "I could never do that." If you would've talked to me about homeschooling 3 years ago, that would've been my response too.

But then Heavenly Father changed my mind. And I'll forever be grateful that He did.

What I LOVE about homeschooling:

1. *I* get to be the one to witness the "A-ha!" moments as my children learn.

2. *I* get to enjoy their excitement and enthusiasm when they're being exposed to something new for the first time.

3. *I* get to help them through the areas that they struggle in without any outside pressure of other people moving ahead.

(Can you tell I was jealous of AJ's teacher for the short time I had her in school?)

4. My children get to go at THEIR pace, not the "average" pace. In some things they excel, and some things take a little longer to grasp, but they don't get bored by being "ahead" and they don't feel extra frustration by being "behind."

5. I get to spend A LOT of time with my children.

6. My children get to have a lot of "life" experience that they might not otherwise get.

7. I get to continue learning as I learn how to best teach them.

8. My kids get to hold onto their innocence a bit longer than their "mainstream" friends.

9. They learn to become each others' best friends.

10. That they get to be taught with the learning style that fits them (and doesn't make them feel stupid because they aren't "getting" it with the way the teacher is teaching it).