Working on the layout

Hey Everybody, we're trying to change up the background and layout of our blog, but it's not going well. Sorry for the interim plain blog. We'll be under construction until Brent and I can figure this out. And if anybody knows how to make quick, easy changes, please let us know. :) So far we're not having much success (obviously).

There's Something About Our Houses

#1: Brent grew up just a few blocks away from me. When he was on his mission his parents moved down to AZ and sold their house. It traded hands a few times and ended up being owned by some good friends we met at school. They've owned it ever since. So it's been fun/weird for Brent to go back to the house he grew up in and have somebody else living there.

#2: The house we just moved out of a year ago was sold to one of Brent's friends from work. That was a huge blessing since we didn't even have to put our house on the market. And now we can go visit and see their cute family having fun in that awesome backyard!

#3: I recently found out that the house we lived in while in MI is now owned by some of our very best friends in the ward out there. They just moved in and have done an awesome job fixing it up. (It was a foreclosure and the previous owners had not been kind when leaving.) We are so happy for them!

So I'd just like to clarify that if anybody's hoping to buy our current house in a couple of years, you're going to be out of luck. We plan to stay here for a VERY LOOOOONNNNGGGG time.

(I was very hesitant to post that last sentence since every time I've said something similar out loud, God feels it's a great time for a good laugh and we end up moving for whatever reason. I'm hoping that since this is not "out loud" God will overlook it. ;) After owning 4 houses in 7 years, I'm ready to start letting my roots grow a bit.)

Note to Self

When running downstairs to the distressed cry from AJ that Lady has peed (and not in the intended receptacle), stop at the bottom stair before taking a step onto the tile. Or you may quickly find yourself on your back with a wrenched shoulder, soaking up a puddle of pee.

......And so begins day 3.

So it begins......

Yesterday was the first day of teaching Lady all about the benefits of the potty. After 2 days of nakedness from the waist down, this little girl is starting to grasp the concept. She's successfully done #1 and #2 a few times now and is quite proud of herself after the fact! Jen, your post couldn't have come at a better time. Along with the candy reward (one Smartie for #1 and a Hershey's Nugget for #2), she has been MOST excited about the potty-dance afterward. She demands we dance and twirl after each successful trip to the bathroom. I don't think I could sell my potty-song to a record label or anything, but she seems to think it's great!

If you notice her red bum, THAT is the reason I finally got fed up enough to start potty training. This child's skin is so sensitive, she breaks out ALL.THE.TIME. It's better in cloth diapers, but it even happens in those. Poor thing. She just needs breathable, cotton panties and her bum will thank me. She probably won't get those for another couple of days, though. That will be another sweet reward once I know she's got it down pat.

I can't believe I'm almost to only 1 in diapers again. What a glorious thing!

Changing Things Up.....Again

Since I haven't posted in a month and a half......

.....and since I have so many "fun" posts I want to do.....

.....and since the "serious" posts are stressing me out so much because it's incredibly hard to stay true to myself and my opinions and beliefs while also trying to word things in a way that won't completely offend the masses.....

.....and since I've had quite a few requests to "do some regular posts too"......

......I'm going to continue to do my "serious: this-is-why-we-do-what-we-do" posts, but I will sprinkle them between the fun-loving, "this-is-what's-going-on-in-our-lives" posts.

And please know that with the more serious posts, it is never my intention to offend. But I will be extremely surprised if we get through all of them without some people taking offense. Unfortunately I can't always help how others take the things I write. That's what's hard about the written word. It's sometimes extremely hard to interpret tone-of-voice. And sometimes my opinions are offensive to those who believe differently or those who have never questioned why they do the things they do.

Anyway, on to fun and lively posts with a dash of thoughtful, no-nonsense posts mixed in! (All of the "serious" posts will be labeled "different" for quick reference.)

Hypnobirthing and Homebirth Part II

I wanted to talk just a little bit more about hypnosis during childbirth and natural birth before I go into homebirth.

My friend, Misty, that I mentioned in the last post reminded me that using hypnosis is a good option for people even if they're planning to get an epidural or even for women having c-sections. It's a great way to help yourself feel joyful and excited about the experience rather than fear or even nervous anticipation. Our society is so backwards sometimes, it amazes me. Why on earth do we fear childbirth? It's something that's an everyday, natural occurrence and yet we get so hung up over it. It should be the most exciting time of the pregnancy...not the dreaded part.

There are so many benefits to natural childbirth. For one thing, if a mother is able to labor the way her body tells her to, it helps the labor progress on its own, without the need for pitocin (which has got to be the most over-used drug today). Every woman is different and has different needs. To put every laboring woman in bed and expect her labor to progress well is, well....pretty stupid. There are some women who labor well laying down on their side, but usually only for a short while. And I've never heard of any woman who was comfortable laboring on their back in bed. And yet what do they have you do the moment you walk into the hospital?

I have one friend who needed to walk through her contractions. Another friend needed to rock back and forth, standing up. Another loved rocking back and forth on her hands and knees. I loved laboring in the water. I was able to do whatever felt right to my body at the moment. I climbed stairs, I lay down on the bed on my side for 30 minutes and took a nap, I went for a walk down by the river with Brent and AJ, I sat in the jetted tub and the birthing tub, I was able to go to the bathroom anytime I needed to (no catheter)....ALL of this was done while in hypnosis. I was completely comfortable because I was able to do what my body wanted and needed to do.

Here is a blog post from Misty about her last birth. There is a video of her having a contraction. Notice how calm and relaxed she is. Notice her smiling and laughing. This is what labor SHOULD be like.

So why have a natural birth when "God gave us the gift of epidurals"? (Yes, I've heard those words numerous times now.)

Natural births have far less cesarian rates than medical births.

Babies born without medication are more alert and have an easier time nursing and bonding with Mom.

When there's no epidural, pushing time is lessened since Mom can actually feel what she's doing.

Without medication, a mother can feel where she's laboring most. If it's in her back, that's the first clue that her baby is posterior (face-up) and she can get into positions and do exercises to help the baby turn.

Recovery time is faster and easier without medication.

Endorphins secreted during a natural childbirth have been found in the placenta and umbilical cord. This may serve a purpose to help the baby adjust to life outside as well as make the journey more comfortable for baby.

Once a mother gets an epidural, there are sacrifices made. It requires more intervention than just the epidural itself. She then needs IV fluids and she's restricted to the bed which increases her need for pitocin. And once she has pitocin, she needs constant fetal-monitoring, restricting movement even more.

Epidurals also increase a mother's need for instruments to be used like vacuum extractors or forceps since pushing is inhibited.

Having an epidural means that the laboring woman is lying on her back (or somewhere between her back and her side) for the duration of the labor. This is the WORST position possible to get baby to descend. And also pretty much the WORST position possible to push the baby out. (The only one I can think of that might be worse is a woman standing on her head.) Lying on one's back causes the birth canal to close by up to 30%! No wonder so many babies get stuck these day.

(Horrible position for pushing)

One of the biggest reasons to have a natural birth, for me anyway, is the lower rate of cesarian sections. Every intervention used brings a mother one step closer to having a c-section. It starts with inductions. I could go on and on about inductions. I think it's ridiculous that they've become the "norm" these days. And one of the problems is they're getting earlier and earlier. It used to be that inductions weren't done until AT LEAST 41 weeks if the mother was still healthy and everything was still going well. Now more and more mothers are being induced by 38-39 weeks. Studies have shown that even these last extra days can be vitally important for the infant to remain in-utero. But women like to plan. And doctors seem ever-so-willing to help them plan because it gives them one less patient that might need to be seen "after hours." For me, this borders on malpractice. But it's so commonly practiced these days that it is rarely seen as such.

There are medical reasons for induction, but they are truly few and far between. A doctor seems to freak out if a patient's blood pressure goes up by 2 points. I believe that it's partly because of selfish doctors who want to schedule as many births as they can, and partly because this country is so sue-happy that doctors will do most anything to cover their butts. If it looks like they're "saving" the mother or baby, then the mother is less likely to sue if something goes wrong.
Doctor: "It could be dangerous to let you go much longer with your blood pressure going up by 2 points. We should induce you."
Mother: "Oh, thank you, Doctor! I don't want to endanger myself or my child."

When in reality, inductions are quite dangerous in and of themselves. It's been shown that between 50%-75% of women who are induced will end up with a cesarian section. I strongly believe that it's best to let the baby decide his or her birthday.

Once induction is started, it so easily leads to other interventions and it becomes a snowball effect. Pitocin is a powerful drug. It causes contractions MUCH stronger than a woman's body normally produces. So women almost always end up with an epidural. Then they get the IV, and the continual fetal monitoring (which, by the way, hasn't been shown to add any benefit or raise the survival rates of infants), and the catheter, and they're pretty much chained to the hospital bed. (Again, NOT the best place to labor.) Being induced also means that the woman is in the hospital for her entire labor, meaning she can't eat or drink for however long her labor lasts. (This has got to be one of the stupidest rules ever concocted. A woman in labor NEEDS nourishment and fluids to give her the energy to get that baby out. There's also no medical reason to restrict it. They say it's so that if a woman ends up needing a c-section, she won't have any food in her belly to aspirate if she's unconscious. Guess what....this scenario has never happened. Another example of covering rear ends.)

Once a woman has been started on pitocin, it's as though someone sets a timer and if she hasn't progressed this far by this time, up the pitocin. WHY? Why do all labors need to be over in a set amount of time? All women labor differently and have different lengths of labor-time. It's NORMAL! But if, heaven forbid, a woman is in labor for longer than about 8-12 hours, it somehow becomes an emergency and they need to GET THAT BABY OUT as if something bad will happen if a woman labors for longer than that. My sister-in-law gave birth in April. She labored (naturally) for 30 hours! That's actually pretty normal for a lot of women. And guess what, her baby came out healthy and happy. No cause for alarm.

One reason for the rush could be that pitocin is notoriously bad for the baby. It causes contractions so strong that the baby goes into distress. This then leads to the doctor playing the "dead baby card." (ie: "If we don't get that baby out now, it could die.") Every good mother is then going to do whatever the doctor says because no one wants to risk a child dying. But in reality, it was the doctor who put the baby into this situation. I don't know how many times I've heard, "I could've never had a homebirth. My baby almost died. I had to have an emergency c-section." This always makes me sad. Mostly because a lot of times it could've been prevented.

(C-section = Surgery)

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely times when a c-section is needed and it's a huge blessing that it's an option these days. But the c-section rates in this country have sky-rocketed. People see it as a normal, everyday thing. But it's SURGERY! Surgery is a serious thing! The c-section rate is currently around 30%. That means that 1 in 3 women can't deliver their own babies. Has something happened to the modern-woman's body that she's now somehow unable to birth the babies she creates? I seriously doubt it. But modern medicine would have us believe such. They'd have us believe that they're "saving" all of these babies, when in reality the current medical establishment is the driving force behind putting these babies and mothers in a position to need a c-section in the first place.

Another horrible trend is repeat c-sections. It has come to be accepted as truth (because so many doctors push it) that once you have a c-section, it's safest to continue having c-sections thereafter. This is false. It is thought that having a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) raises the odds of a woman's uterus rupturing. It does, in fact, raise the odds, but not by the amount doctors would have you believe. And statistics show that maternal death rates are higher when VBAC rates are lower (which is the current trend). So really, repeat c-sections are what's killing mothers, not VBACs.

Again, doctors come into play with all of the covering-of-their-butts that they have to do. There are even doctors who refuse to accept patients who wish to have a VBAC. I have to wonder what the reasoning is behind this. Since statistics show that VBACs are safe, why continue to push c-sections? Could it possibly be for the money? Could this also possibly be why the c-section rate is so high? C-sections cost a heck of a lot more than vaginal births. And they take up a LOT less of the doctors' time. Sounds like a win-win for the doctors to me.

The risks of having a VBAC are that the mother's uterus could rupture, putting the mother and baby at risk of death. There is less than 1% risk of something serious happening during a VBAC. What doctors usually don't tell their patients is that there are risks to repeat c-sections also. These risks include:
-thinning of the uterus
-possible uterine rupture prior to labor
-scarring
-pain
-potential risk of increased blood loss
-damage to the bladder
-bowel obstruction
-placenta growing into the uterine wall, causing the need for a possible hysterectomy at the time of the c-section

If you've had a cesarian section and are interested in having a VBAC in the future, this is a great website to check out.

I guess my biggest frustration with childbirth today is that it has been taken out of the hands of the mothers. Women no longer "own" their pregnancies and births. We've just handed it over the the medical community and really bad things have come out of it. The horror stories are real. And unfortunately, they're expected. What would happen if women reclaimed their right and responsibility to take charge of their pregnancies and births? What if all women were educated about normal pregnancy and childbirth? What if women helped each other and supported each other instead of propagating the fear and horror stories?

I think we'd see a huge decrease in maternal and infant morbidity and mortality.

More to come about homebirth in Part III.

Hypnobirthing and Homebirth Part I

I was first introduced to hypnobirthing by my friend, Misty, when we were living in Michigan. She'd just had her 3rd (I think?) baby using hypnosis and raved about it. She told us she was in control and that the contractions didn't hurt. At the time I remember thinking, "No way!" I mean, she HAD to be lying, right? My whole life, every woman I know told me how awful childbirth is and how labor is the bane of women's existence. AND I'd already felt it twice and it HURT, gosh darn it!!!

Somewhere deep inside of me, though, I knew there had to be a better way. I'm not one of those who believes that this is Eve's curse that was passed on to all women. I don't believe God wants childbirth to be one of the worst experiences of our lives up until the baby pops out. I believe it's meant to be serene and joyful and filled with good feelings.

Unfortunately I didn't get that experience up until my 4th and 5th children.

I had the opportunity a couple of weeks ago to go to my midwife's house for a party. She and the other midwife who works with her invited all their clients who'd had babies this year or are currently pregnant. It was awesome. It was so nice to be in the company of other women telling birth stories without drama and that didn't resemble horror stories.

The only time I ever felt bad at the party was when I divulged that I'd had 3 medical births before I "figured it out." None of the women there made me feel bad, I just felt kind of silly that it took so long for me to realize there was a better way. A lot of these women had their first babies at home. At first I was jealous of them, but then I realized that maybe I wasn't supposed to. Maybe I was supposed to have the experiences I did because they did teach me something. (Or maybe I'm just a slow learner.)

Now for all of you thinking I must have had some horrific labors and deliveries for my first 3, you're wrong. Actually, mine were fairly standard, if not above standard, for hospital births. I went in to the hospital when I realized I was in labor, got an epidural and had a baby. Of course, there were a lot of other things that happened that made each experience less than ideal, but all-in-all the outcome was fine. I went home with healthy babies.

But each time I left feeling like, "That didn't feel right. It didn't feel the way my heart and body tell me it's supposed to feel."

I determined I was going to do some learning and figure out what I was missing.

The first thing I figured out was that I for SURE wanted to have a natural birth the next time. After Tink, I knew I could do it if I just had the right tools. This is when I remembered Misty and I started researching using hypnosis during childbirth. There was so much information and it all just "clicked" with me. At first I was a little skeptical, but after reading so many birth stories and after watching lots and lots of youtube videos of women laboring with hypnosis, I realized that THIS is what birth is supposed to be like. I believe Heavenly Father gave us the tools to have wonderful, beautiful births without all the drama and hours and hours of pain. But because our society and culture have lost their trust in the female body, birth has become about the horror stories and women one-upping their friends with what terrible experiences they have to tell.

Interruption of my own thoughts here: Seriously...when did the birth horror stories come into popularity? And WHY ON EARTH did it ever become the "norm" for the sharing of these stories to be told at all baby showers of first-time moms? What could be a worse gift for the soon-to-be-mom? Why don't we tell her how wonderful it is? And how it can be the most empowering, fulfilling, enlightening experience she'll ever go through? Oh yeah, because our culture has made it so that this is NOT the experience of most women. Instead we have the horror stories.
/rant over

Have you heard the stories of women in Asia who work all day in the rice fields while in labor, then they pause to give birth, wrap the baby up on their chest and get back to work? I know I was amazed the first time I heard about such women. After researching, I found that it's because of their culture. They aren't taught to fear childbirth from a young age. They don't grow up wanting babies, but agonizing over the worry of getting those babies out of their bodies. They are raised without the horror stories. They are raised knowing that a woman's body is capable. That's why this gift was given to women.

While women may not have the most muscular bodies, I believe we have much stronger bodies than men. The hormone changes we go through in one month alone would bring most men to their knees.

Back to the fear. Fear is what starts the cycle of pain. Fear causes tension, which causes muscle tightening, which causes pain. ESPECIALLY in a laboring woman. It's so interesting to look back at my first labor experiences. I made it so much harder on myself than it had to be. As soon as the contractions started I tensed up, holding my breath (big "duh" on my part), trying to climb out of my skin. I can tell you IT DIDN'T WORK! I was in so much pain by the time we got to the hospital. I was begging for the epidural with the first 2 babies.

By my 3rd baby, I thought I'd just be able to handle it. I knew if I could just get past 6 or 7 cm dilated, I'd make it the rest of the way. The trouble was I did nothing else to prepare myself. I didn't educate myself about labor or relaxation techniques (after all, I'd been through it twice already, right? What more was there to learn?). I just went in feeling confident that I could handle it. But then they made me lay down on the bed, put a monitor on, put on a blood pressure cuff, and put an IV in my arm. Any chance I had of having a natural birth flew out the window. But I didn't know that yet.

No, I lay there on the bed as the contractions got harder and harder and I tensed up and the pain began to get worse. I had the doctor check me a number of times.....still at a 6. Forever at a 6. I finally gave in and had them call the anesthesiologist. Tink was born about 20 minutes later.

It was after that I determined to learn as much as I could about natural childbirth. And luckily there is a LOT of information out there. I learned about so many advantages to natural childbirth that I knew I'd never go back to a medicated birth again. The other thing I learned (thanks for the heads-up from Misty) was that it didn't have to be painful! It didn't have to be torture! That was the revelation I was seeking and finally ready for!

I also educated myself much more about childbirth itself: the process of it, what's normal, what's not normal, the meaning of different cues a woman's body gives during labor. Most importantly I educated myself enough so that I was absolutely confident in myself and my body and it's ability to labor and deliver my child without the help of medication.

I signed up for a hypnobirthing class. Brent was completely skeptical at first. But after the first couple of lessons, he quickly realized it wasn't hokey. It's absolutely NOT like the hypnosis you see performed on stage. It's self-hypnosis-- getting yourself into a state of deep relaxation. I was completely aware of what was going on around me the entire time I was in labor. I was completely aware of every contraction and of my cervix stretching. But it didn't hurt! It was beautiful.

I can honestly say I didn't feel pain with either of my last 2 births right up until transition. And then it gets a bit harder, but really it's still not terribly painful....just EXTREMELY intense. It's a very, very intense feeling when your body takes over to push the baby out. Although some women remain completely calm during transition, just like the rest of their labor. I wasn't able to do that with either of them, but I also wasn't "out of control." I was just working hard to push the baby out. :)

It was such an awesome, amazing, empowering, spiritual experience. It's hard to describe how I felt. And I'm not trying to put down my other 3 births. They were beautiful and lovely also, once the baby was out. I guess the difference was that I was so much more involved and educated and in control of what was happening the entire time with the natural births. I didn't let nurses or doctors tell me what to do. I didn't leave them in charge. I didn't let them make all the decisions. I knew what to do. I knew my body and what it was capable of.

Part II coming soon. :)