If you have daughters or plan to have daughters.......
scratch that-- if you have children (male or female) or plan to have children.......
scratch that-- if you have ever, currently do, or will ever interact with children of ANY age in your lifetime, you MUST read this.
http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=3354
I haven't read a lot of articles on this blog, and of the few that I have read, I agreed with some, disagreed with others. But this one is incredible. It's been something that's been on my mind quite often over the last few years. Looking back at how I was raised and taught about sex and how some of my friends were raised and taught about sex, this is some very compelling stuff. It relates somewhat to my breastfeeding post, about how all sexuality is deemed bad and since breasts are deemed primarily sexual, then they must be bad, even in the practice of feeding our children. I have had similar thoughts to this woman, but couldn't pull them together in such a perfect illustration of how I feel about the way the church preaches about morality and chastity. I think this is one area that HAS to change for the benefit, and ultimately, the salvation of our children.
I know it's long, but please.....read through the whole thing. I'm curious as to others' thoughts about her 13th Article of Healthy Chastity. It's something I'd never thought of before, but it makes sense to me. I wonder if it would help more girls open up about their feelings and even experiences if they could talk to a YW leader or RS leader instead of the bishop. It can be extremely intimidating as a young girl to go into a small office alone with a middle-aged man that you don't know very well and confess your innermost thoughts and experiences. Interesting thoughts......definitely gave me something to think about.
Either way, I think this woman is on the right track......I've seen some of those lessons in YW, having been a YW leader for a couple of years. Some of them really are archaic and even harmful to a girl who's made mistakes in her life and especially to a girl who's been abused or raped. I love how she points out that the "Boys will be boys and have no control over themselves" argument is harmful to both girls and boys. Boys need to take responsibility for their OWN thoughts and actions and girls need to do the same. And FINALLY, someone points out that it isn't JUST teenage boys that dwell on and think about sex quite often. Teenage girls are having the same (if not MORE) hormones raging through their bodies and are experiencing feelings and urges just the same as their male peers. It's not shameful. It's biologically normal.
I believe it comes down to the fact that the law of chastity isn't about shame, fear, or secrecy. It is about loving ourselves and seeing ourselves as God sees us......having respect for and taking pride in our bodies as gifts from God and issuing that same respect to all others and their bodies. Unfortunately, I don't think this is how it is taught in most YM/YW classes today.
Ok, discuss! :)
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3 comments:
I was in a YW lesson recently and I was so disappointed...
1. I usually really hate FMH, but this one was good. Props to fmhlisa!
2. I agree, but we need to be careful when treading the "we don't need Bishops for repentance" line. I agree that young girls in a room alone with a Bishop is just creepy. I think i would applaud the YW leader present, or switching it to YW or RS leaders --but at the same time, the Priesthood HAS TO BE INVOLVED when there are serious sins to repent of... but with that said, I absolutely can see a woman trusting a woman and how that would be a better scenario for discussions of a sexual nature.
3. I agree that these discussions should be done most primarily by the PARENTS and it needs to start early.
4. AMEN that women need to stop being blamed for men's hormones! It's one thing to understand that a man's libido may ("may" --some men don't have problems with this, at all! It's a generalization!) be stronger than a woman's --it's entirely different to assume it on every level. It's insulting to women; it's insulting to men.
5. Focusing on the WHY: God's children. God's plan. Families. Eternal marriage --it makes a whole lot more sense than "tainted flowers."
Julie, do tell. And did you say anything during or after the lesson?
Cheryl, I agree with all your points. Can you imagine being a teenage girl who's supposed to go talk to her bishop about masturbation? To me, that just adds humiliation to the shame. I agree that the Priesthood HAS to stay involved and that was the part that made my stomach churn in her suggestions. But I wonder if confessions could start out with YW or RS leaders and then if they're serious enough, the YW or RS leader could go to the bishop WITH the girl. I know I would be much more comfortable with another female whom I trusted in there with me. I had some GREAT bishops growing up and at least 1 that I would have never been able to go to about much of anything. I'm sure he was a very nice man, but he intimidated the crap out of me.
And YES, YES, YES to your #s 4 and 5. I think the focus needs to change. And maybe there even needs to be training for the PARENTS in how to talk to their kids about this stuff.
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