Hypnobirthing and Homebirth Part I

I was first introduced to hypnobirthing by my friend, Misty, when we were living in Michigan. She'd just had her 3rd (I think?) baby using hypnosis and raved about it. She told us she was in control and that the contractions didn't hurt. At the time I remember thinking, "No way!" I mean, she HAD to be lying, right? My whole life, every woman I know told me how awful childbirth is and how labor is the bane of women's existence. AND I'd already felt it twice and it HURT, gosh darn it!!!

Somewhere deep inside of me, though, I knew there had to be a better way. I'm not one of those who believes that this is Eve's curse that was passed on to all women. I don't believe God wants childbirth to be one of the worst experiences of our lives up until the baby pops out. I believe it's meant to be serene and joyful and filled with good feelings.

Unfortunately I didn't get that experience up until my 4th and 5th children.

I had the opportunity a couple of weeks ago to go to my midwife's house for a party. She and the other midwife who works with her invited all their clients who'd had babies this year or are currently pregnant. It was awesome. It was so nice to be in the company of other women telling birth stories without drama and that didn't resemble horror stories.

The only time I ever felt bad at the party was when I divulged that I'd had 3 medical births before I "figured it out." None of the women there made me feel bad, I just felt kind of silly that it took so long for me to realize there was a better way. A lot of these women had their first babies at home. At first I was jealous of them, but then I realized that maybe I wasn't supposed to. Maybe I was supposed to have the experiences I did because they did teach me something. (Or maybe I'm just a slow learner.)

Now for all of you thinking I must have had some horrific labors and deliveries for my first 3, you're wrong. Actually, mine were fairly standard, if not above standard, for hospital births. I went in to the hospital when I realized I was in labor, got an epidural and had a baby. Of course, there were a lot of other things that happened that made each experience less than ideal, but all-in-all the outcome was fine. I went home with healthy babies.

But each time I left feeling like, "That didn't feel right. It didn't feel the way my heart and body tell me it's supposed to feel."

I determined I was going to do some learning and figure out what I was missing.

The first thing I figured out was that I for SURE wanted to have a natural birth the next time. After Tink, I knew I could do it if I just had the right tools. This is when I remembered Misty and I started researching using hypnosis during childbirth. There was so much information and it all just "clicked" with me. At first I was a little skeptical, but after reading so many birth stories and after watching lots and lots of youtube videos of women laboring with hypnosis, I realized that THIS is what birth is supposed to be like. I believe Heavenly Father gave us the tools to have wonderful, beautiful births without all the drama and hours and hours of pain. But because our society and culture have lost their trust in the female body, birth has become about the horror stories and women one-upping their friends with what terrible experiences they have to tell.

Interruption of my own thoughts here: Seriously...when did the birth horror stories come into popularity? And WHY ON EARTH did it ever become the "norm" for the sharing of these stories to be told at all baby showers of first-time moms? What could be a worse gift for the soon-to-be-mom? Why don't we tell her how wonderful it is? And how it can be the most empowering, fulfilling, enlightening experience she'll ever go through? Oh yeah, because our culture has made it so that this is NOT the experience of most women. Instead we have the horror stories.
/rant over

Have you heard the stories of women in Asia who work all day in the rice fields while in labor, then they pause to give birth, wrap the baby up on their chest and get back to work? I know I was amazed the first time I heard about such women. After researching, I found that it's because of their culture. They aren't taught to fear childbirth from a young age. They don't grow up wanting babies, but agonizing over the worry of getting those babies out of their bodies. They are raised without the horror stories. They are raised knowing that a woman's body is capable. That's why this gift was given to women.

While women may not have the most muscular bodies, I believe we have much stronger bodies than men. The hormone changes we go through in one month alone would bring most men to their knees.

Back to the fear. Fear is what starts the cycle of pain. Fear causes tension, which causes muscle tightening, which causes pain. ESPECIALLY in a laboring woman. It's so interesting to look back at my first labor experiences. I made it so much harder on myself than it had to be. As soon as the contractions started I tensed up, holding my breath (big "duh" on my part), trying to climb out of my skin. I can tell you IT DIDN'T WORK! I was in so much pain by the time we got to the hospital. I was begging for the epidural with the first 2 babies.

By my 3rd baby, I thought I'd just be able to handle it. I knew if I could just get past 6 or 7 cm dilated, I'd make it the rest of the way. The trouble was I did nothing else to prepare myself. I didn't educate myself about labor or relaxation techniques (after all, I'd been through it twice already, right? What more was there to learn?). I just went in feeling confident that I could handle it. But then they made me lay down on the bed, put a monitor on, put on a blood pressure cuff, and put an IV in my arm. Any chance I had of having a natural birth flew out the window. But I didn't know that yet.

No, I lay there on the bed as the contractions got harder and harder and I tensed up and the pain began to get worse. I had the doctor check me a number of times.....still at a 6. Forever at a 6. I finally gave in and had them call the anesthesiologist. Tink was born about 20 minutes later.

It was after that I determined to learn as much as I could about natural childbirth. And luckily there is a LOT of information out there. I learned about so many advantages to natural childbirth that I knew I'd never go back to a medicated birth again. The other thing I learned (thanks for the heads-up from Misty) was that it didn't have to be painful! It didn't have to be torture! That was the revelation I was seeking and finally ready for!

I also educated myself much more about childbirth itself: the process of it, what's normal, what's not normal, the meaning of different cues a woman's body gives during labor. Most importantly I educated myself enough so that I was absolutely confident in myself and my body and it's ability to labor and deliver my child without the help of medication.

I signed up for a hypnobirthing class. Brent was completely skeptical at first. But after the first couple of lessons, he quickly realized it wasn't hokey. It's absolutely NOT like the hypnosis you see performed on stage. It's self-hypnosis-- getting yourself into a state of deep relaxation. I was completely aware of what was going on around me the entire time I was in labor. I was completely aware of every contraction and of my cervix stretching. But it didn't hurt! It was beautiful.

I can honestly say I didn't feel pain with either of my last 2 births right up until transition. And then it gets a bit harder, but really it's still not terribly painful....just EXTREMELY intense. It's a very, very intense feeling when your body takes over to push the baby out. Although some women remain completely calm during transition, just like the rest of their labor. I wasn't able to do that with either of them, but I also wasn't "out of control." I was just working hard to push the baby out. :)

It was such an awesome, amazing, empowering, spiritual experience. It's hard to describe how I felt. And I'm not trying to put down my other 3 births. They were beautiful and lovely also, once the baby was out. I guess the difference was that I was so much more involved and educated and in control of what was happening the entire time with the natural births. I didn't let nurses or doctors tell me what to do. I didn't leave them in charge. I didn't let them make all the decisions. I knew what to do. I knew my body and what it was capable of.

Part II coming soon. :)